sockpuppet704

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Sockpuppet704's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

agreeclassic 55 616

vote type 1 8 671

By Wendie - 18/04/2011 16:10 - United States

Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML

agreeclassic 36 561

vote type 1 8 597

No excuses!

By davka - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

agreeclassic 65 996

vote type 1 4 907

By rastafarimon - 17/04/2011 05:56 - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

agreeclassic 48 201

vote type 1 8 983

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 20:09 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

agreeclassic 43 341

vote type 1 8 056