Today, my sister decided that it would be a great idea to give my almost two-year-old son some strong black coffee. FML
Today, as I woke up, the first thing I saw was a bee on my hand. I tried not to make the slightest move, waiting for it to fly away without stinging me. The second thing I saw was my cat jumping at it. FML
Today, my 8-year-old nephew told me he liked the way I smelt. Apparently I smell like "cat food and cheese." FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
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