Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I'd first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I'd decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML
Today, I went on a virtual date with someone I met on a hyper-personalized dating app. It turns out that the app matched me with my ex. Again. Because, apparently, “statistically, you two have so much in common, and also unresolved issues.” FML
Today, I received a message on a dating app. It was the girl I'd always wanted to marry, but who disappeared from my life when we were younger. She went on and on about how much she missed me... and how much she wanted me to meet her husband and 3 kids. FML
Today, I declared I was done with online dating after several disasters. My friend set me up with a friend of her husband's. Turns out he's one of the men who rejected me on the website. He laughed when he saw me and said, "Well, this is awkward" and left. FML
Today, I'm a 46 year-old woman who hates online dating, and who is now single again. FML
Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML
Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I met up with my 'on again, off again' girlfriend of 4 years that I'm still madly in love with. We've been broken up for a few months and she's been dating someone else. We talked about possibly trying things again. When I got home, I found out she's engaged. FML
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Top comments
jts2 3
Who? WHO WAS IT?! The suspense is killing me!
GreenHacker 0
Tell her it's a sign and that you two should actually be together. Then sleep with her. Then move on.
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Comments (92)
x0stormbringer 0
a tater tot?
al213 0
cucumber anyone
hXcsoccerplaya 0
#12, you don't have to get hitched instantly. go travel the world or something that you know you won't be able do while your married. if you can afford to in this shitty economy :(
aquarius6 0
I guess she's the only one. u are screwed,
misspeg 0
I don't get it? what's the big problem with online dating? someone please enlighten me...
cheetahboo2010 5
I give up. Who was it? Because, I'm sooo blonde that I have absolutely no clue as to who this might be. xDD
Aha09 1
What's your poison? Match.com? eHarmony? ;)
FerrariCake 2
TWO YEARS??? TWO ******* years?? The reality is that they probably had no one as pathetic as yourself with whom they could match you. So the computer defaulted to your one previous match, hoping that would be worth something. Here's some advice: get a life, find some self-respect, and THEN you'll be more likely to be "matched" with someone normal.
lostfaithinpppl 19
As harsh as your post sounds, FerrariCake, I have to completely agree. OP, please cancel your membership, don't date for a while, take time to work on your personal issues (which sound pretty significant from what you posted). Good luck.
BunnyDrastic 0
YDI for bein a loser
Donnyk 0
big deal that shit happens on dating sites. man the **** up and block her and move on. she clearly doesnt like you, and youll see what a waste those 2 years were when you find someone who actually likes you back. quit being a whiner