Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a river near my house. They have several swing ropes that you grab and then jump into the river. As I was about to let go of the rope, my leg got tangled and I was held underwater. My mom watched and laughed for a while before she came to help me. FML
Today, I went to the beach with friends. While splashing around in the ocean and waving to my friends who were sitting on the sand, I got caught in a strong current and had to be rescued by a lifeguard. They gave me a wristband that said, "Needs Adult Supervision". FML
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML
Today, it was an extremely hot day so I hit up the beach for a swim. Just as I entered the water, the first wave approached me. I tried to jump it and lost my footing, managing to dislocate my hip. I had to be dragged from the water by the lifeguards. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
Macromartyr 3
Were they purple?
sirbrainiac 2
those sandals cost 10 bucks!!!
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Comments (103)
PrincessGrilie 0
Hey why are you talking about me sweetie they did cost a lot of money!
NorfolkDude 2
Moms do this. I mean someday when you have kids, you'll view them as just kids no matter how serious it is. Coming back from war, seeing things explode, near death experiences, getting married, riding your bike, falling down a hill, and all that and all mom's said was, "Really?" like how you would a small child.
bankrupt 15
So true, so true. I won a very prestigious award at work and I called my mom all excited. All she said was "that's nice" and went on to tell me that the girl who used to live down the street from us got a job as a hairdresser in a nursing home and how fantastic that was. I am a newspaper reporter and won a big award and got a pay raise for a story that was very well-regarded by my peers, but according to my mom, I was trumped by a hairdresser for senior citizens. Go figure. At least my husband was happy for me; he took me out to dinner and announced to the whole restaurant, "My wife won a big award and I'm so proud of her" and everyone applauded and said how great that was. I got more recognition from a roomful of strangers than my own mother could deign to give me but of course the best part is that I married a real, live, genuine Prince Charming.
scateice 0
Hey mom, I just barely survived the strong current that swept me away and almost drowned me before I, at the last second, let go of my sandals to save my life, all while you were admiring the view." "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS?!?!"
yafuckyourlife 4
Buttmunch? ha oh Jesus.
haha89 0
What the? Even if she was joking that is not even funny at all!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Buttmunch ;)
kayC7 0
Are you Indian by any chance?
sweetTnt_fml 0
u schupid for losing the sandals
bluekiwi_fml 0
shoes are so vital to peoples lives.
partygirl14 0
wow what a mom