Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a river near my house. They have several swing ropes that you grab and then jump into the river. As I was about to let go of the rope, my leg got tangled and I was held underwater. My mom watched and laughed for a while before she came to help me. FML
Today, I went to the beach with friends. While splashing around in the ocean and waving to my friends who were sitting on the sand, I got caught in a strong current and had to be rescued by a lifeguard. They gave me a wristband that said, "Needs Adult Supervision". FML
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML
Today, it was an extremely hot day so I hit up the beach for a swim. Just as I entered the water, the first wave approached me. I tried to jump it and lost my footing, managing to dislocate my hip. I had to be dragged from the water by the lifeguards. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
Macromartyr 3
Were they purple?
sirbrainiac 2
those sandals cost 10 bucks!!!
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Comments (103)
Graawr 7
Poor sandals.
StrictlyMCH 0
u can get the dick
Graawr 7
You get nothing.
SpaceMannn 0
the cost of those sandals are comming out of your allowance! yeah your mom is messed up. can I hate your mom?
peacelovekat 0
ermm if they were that important y were u in the river with them and if they were 1000000000000 dollars I get it but still mean mom
Mirorbo 27
Parents never seem to have their priorities straight when it comes to seeing which is more important: material possessions, or the health/well being of their child.
TheBestManEver 0
Well technically children are material possessions, for 18 years at the very least. Think of it this way: You have a barbie doll, bought it some awesome designer sandals from the store. Then you're walking down by the river, and barbie falls into the river. You pick her out of the water and notice her sandals are gone. Wouldn't you give her shit about losing her sandals?
Mirorbo 27
!!!! Who told you I had a Barbie Doll? I told the boys to keep that a secret!!
TheBestManEver 0
Well I was trying to get on base with everyone in this thread, and I saw your post to make a good basis off of. I apologize for the confusion.
Mirorbo 27
....I need to go hide for a while now, darling...
boatkicker 5
FYL, that must have been terrifying, and then for your mother to be more concerned with your shoes than the fact that you nearly drowned is awful.... but I'm a little curious as to why no one warned you. If it's a local river, than I'm sure you know other people who swim there. And currents that strong don't just appear out of nowhere. I can't imagine you're the first person to get caught in it, so I'm surprised no one warned you. If I'm wrong, and someone did warn you about the current in that area, than YDI.
bankrupt 15
When I was a kid we visited a friend's family. Their apartment had a pool so we all went swimming. I got tangled in a flotation device and it flipped me head down into the water, and I couldn't right myself. Every time I struggled to the top I got a mouthful of water and went down again. I was sure I was going to drown right there in a pool full of people; to this day it was the most scared I ever was in my whole life. I managed to escape and the first thing I did was look at my mom. She was looking right at me, then looked away real quick when she caught my eye. She'd been watching the whole time and hadn't lifted a finger to help me. I staggered out of the pool and demanded to know why she didn't help me and she screamed at me, "I saw you, you little shit. You weren't in any trouble!" The f*** I wasn't; I nearly drowned. I was about 6 years old but even then I figured it out. She figured if I drowned she'd make a pile of money suing the apartment complex with the added bonus of getting rid of the useless daughter she hadn't wanted (I was supposed to be a boy so she wouldn't have to be bothered trying again to "hit the jackpot"). Parents really don't have their priorities straight, although I guess in the end she was OK with me surviving. I was her house slave for years, cleaning and scrubbing and cooking and doing load after load of laundry while she watched TV and slept. She bawled like a baby when I moved out. Not because she cared about me, but because she lost her free maid.
TheBestManEver 0
Cool story bro.
Mirorbo 27
Fuhohohoho.... I'm so sorry darling. There are so many parents in this world who see their children as the same way. Nothing more than baggage and potential house slaves. As much as people would love to deny it, it's very true, even if they have never personally experienced it.
mexicutioner123 0
gosh, now I'm all depressed
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
That sucks. A friendly word of advice from someone who's learned the hard way: Find a way to let go. Get help if you need to. Resentment like that is awful for your emotional, mental, and especially physical health. Not saying "forgive and forget", but forgiveness is a good idea. As someone once told me, "Bitterness is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die."
gatorgal94 0
-26 I am so sorry :( that sucks :/
dreamering 16
A reason to go shopping.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
People need a reason to go shoe shopping? ;)
TheBestManEver 0
I can see why the mother would be pissed OP. You lost a pair of goddamned sandles, your mother had to go through the trouble of going out and buying those, and you go and lose them in the damn river? I could see why she wouldn't care less about losing you; children are free. If she loses you, she can just waltz down the nearest adoption agency and replace you, FOR FREE (or wait 9 months after getting drunk at a Hard Rock cafe). Regardless, you should reimburse your mother and punish yourself for being a careless child.
boatkicker 5
Children are free? Funny, I always thought you had to feed children until they were legally adults, and generally 18 years worth of food costs more than a pair shoes. But what do I know. Maybe they have some new sort of children that don't require food, or anything else.
TheBestManEver 0
I meant the act of obtaining a child is free you malicious thundercunt.
nond2nv 4
Whoa. Spicy.
No_habla_espanol 11
lmfao!
rwctkd95 0
wow what a mum.
zakkaisftw 0
America....