Today, my tween daughter found an exciting new book series to replace her two-year obsession with Harry Potter. Hello, Team Jacob. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Audible readers empathize
Today, It's been a few months since I started reading the Harry Potter books to my daughter. She told me a list of all her favorite characters. I didn't have the heart to tell her that every single one of them dies by the end of the seventh book. FML
Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Stuck in the past
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML
Throwing shade
Today, my 12-year-old daughter was suspended from school for doing a book report on 50 Shades of Grey. FML
Top comments
mala_19 20
How could she just dump Harry Potter like that?! ?
RichardPencil 32
At least it's a less harmful obsession than boys. Fictional werewolves and vampires can't give girls STDs like herpes or pregnancy. Better Team Jacob than Team Chlamydia.
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Comments (45)
Stealthninjaa 19
But... It's 2017...
mariri9206 32
That doesn't mean anything. If that's your argument, then no one should read Harry Potter or Maximum Ride or Goosebumps, etc, etc.
longnight83 9
On the bright side, at least is isn't 50 Shades of Gray.
TaoShaman 24
It could easily lead to that. It is just Twilight fanfiction with small details changed to avoid a lawsuit.
galacticstorm 6
Point her to Darren Shan's Cirque Du Freak series. It's got vampires, werewolves, mystery, some magic and a war. In short, it's a wayy better series than harry potter and twilight
Ray_of_midnight 23
Maybe you can turn it into a teachable moment about what is and isn't part of a healthy relationship.
sousaphonist 14
condolences
chrddajr 19
At least shes reading right?
jbursach 5
People still read twilight!?
katydid91 31
No!! Please! Not again! I'm still traumatized from when my sister was obsessed with Twilight.
rattyrayvn 21
Oh boy, can't wait til she reaches the clusterfuck that is the last book
aiseka 3
Dont know what to vote here. you're life doesnt suck because of that. i love both the harry potter books and the twilight books. not too keen on the moviesfrom either series. just let her enjoy the books. and fyi, im team jacob too :p