Today, my roommates sat me down and said we need to have a serious chat. I was worried, until they asked me if I could quit my new night job. When I asked why, they said it was because I wasn't home anymore to cook them dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML
Today, my parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tired of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting for 6 days a week. FML
Today, I had to quit my job. Why? Because I don't have a babysitter anymore. All I did was tell them I didn't want them mocking my baby when he cries. FML
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, my husband told his parents that he was quitting his job so that he could focus on school. They asked him what he was going to do for money. When I told them that I'd be the one working, they took one look at me and burst into laughter. FML
Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML
Today, I found out my job is trying to get me to quit. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go to work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML
Today, I quit my job, mainly because I didn't work enough hours and thus, earn enough money. In the past, they said there isn't any other paid work they could provide. They've now added different tasks, more money, and more hours to the position. I'm helping to find a replacement for a job I would otherwise apply to. FML
Today, due to an emergency, I ended up working for 18 hours instead of 13. I'd texted my unemployed wife to let her know this was unavoidable, but when I got home she blamed me like she thought I planned this in advance, yelled at me, and my dinner was Heinz tomato soup I had to heat up myself. FML
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Top comments
Uniquestar7 20
If they offer to pay you more than your new job does...
TedThePanda 5
tell them only if they pay to support all your needs and give you extra for your wants.
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Comments (13)
mariri9206 32
"Sure, if you want to pay my salary and give me a competitive rate!"
mariri9206 32
Or bring a roommate a meal and they'll eat for a night but teach a roommate to cook and they'll eat for a week.
ImminentDisaster 12
One whole week?
MoscowProgrammer 2
They are lazy bastards, I think.
SAgirl 23
Did he also want you to ty his shoelaces?