Love: Today, my mistress called my wife on the phone. FML

hmm... no sex for you tonight, good thing she didbt glue yur dick to your leg. you dont deserve either one of them, theyre too good for you. and ur stupid, what else would she have called her on? YDI, asshole.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Health Annoying Hospital Anger Family Love Marriage Awkward Parenting Sex Intimacy NSFW Mysterious Cars Poopoo peepee Transportation Airport My ex Religion Mother in law Parents School Kids Clothes Animals Embarrassing Management Work Capitalism

The Top

Today, I found out why people in my new neighborhood keep giving me weird looks. For a laugh, my brother had gone around telling them I'm a parolee, and implying that I couldn't be trusted around their children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 655

You deserved it 1 333

Today, I was secretly listening to a voicemail from my mom in maths class when I accidentally hit the speaker phone button. My whole math class now knows I have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 911

You deserved it 49 366

Today, my wife showed me a video she took of me last night. I was shit-faced, dancing half naked to '90s club music in the middle of the street at midnight. She won't stop laughing at me and replaying the video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 2 304

Today, after taking hair growth pills and using hair growth medicated shampoos, I have not seen any different in my thinning hair. Can't say the same about the hair sprouting on my knuckles, chin, and toes. My pubes are very thick, silky, and luscious thanks to the treatment. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 212

Today, the water cut out while I was showering, covered in soap and shampoo. I had to rinse with freezing cold drinking water from the fridge. As soon as I'd dried off, the water supply got restored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 75

Today, my grandmother got caught trying to rob a casino. She was planning this for months, and is claiming I was an integral part of the heist. I'm fifteen and had no idea she was planning this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 69