Today, my brother "borrowed" my car and keys without asking me. He came back 4 hours later, alone and pale faced. It took half an hour of questions, interrogation, and finally threats before he admitted that my car is sitting in a ditch a few miles away, probably totaled. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML
Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML
Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML
Today, I woke up and saw my new car was gone and my son seemed very shifty. When I questioned him with the cops, he admitted to taking it for a joyride and "leaving it" behind a derelict mall. We drove over. It was wrapped around a light post, completely destroyed. FML
Today, I heard that my ex wrecked my car. He'd "borrowed it" and has had it for 2 months. He refused to return it. I went to the police and they went behind my back and "attempted" to retrieve it yesterday, without me. This just caused him to run away. FML
Today, after months of working on our relationship, my ex asked to borrow my car. After many hours and phone calls to see where he was, he still wasn't back. I decided to check my car's GPS and found him at my friend's house. He tried to deny that it was her house, when I've been there multiple times. FML
Today, I crashed my brother's car. All my friends know about this and not a single person has ask if I'm OK, even my dad and brother don't seem to be worried about me. Only my mother and I are sad because I don't know how to pay for a new car, the old one is in pieces. Thank god I'm alive but maybe dead would've been better. FML
Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML
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Top comments
queenariii 22
I hope you plan to "borrow" his upcoming paychecks.
PulpFact 8
If I were in this situation I'd be down a car AND a deadbeat brother.
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Comments (45)
ThePaperDragon 31
Reading things like this makes me appreciate being an only child.
trucker2 33
Well I'm sure you can beat The shit out of him before you call for your cars rescue
LPac5295 27
Well hey now you should get to "borrow" any money of his to pay for it. Yes it's good he's okay but it's his fault and he didn't ask so now he should own up to it.
nicole1765 14
Everyone saying at least your brother is ok. Im glad hes ok but lets be honest. If yall were in OP's shoes, yall would angry too.
M3DO 24
Funny how people care more about objects than human lifes these days.
Lily_Rain77 25
OP didn't say that. The brother is fine, so that's a non issue, but his bad behavior cost OP an expensive item. An item that could get OP to and from work and the grocery store. Cars are kind of a big deal.
Stuffaluffagus 25
If this was me my brother would be dead
mattrd_fml 31
and he got a hold of your keys how? ydi
PhoenixChick 26
Do you usually put your personal belongings in a safe in your own home every night? Most people leave their keys in a purse or something.
laden_swallow09 35
Let me put it into words that even you should be able to understand, 21. Is it yours? Do you have explicit permission to take it? If no, then Leave. It. The ****. Alone. The brother is a piece of shit and should be held in full accountability for his dumbassery.
ohSNAPyall 27
Or on a key rack.
ChelzTheWolfGirl 29
Well I sure hope you plan to make him pay you back. Stealing a car and then getting it totaled is not okay.
avacada57 9
If he's pale faced he could be bleeding internally and going into shock..
soullyfe 33
24: He was pale faced because he knew he ****** up.
WJM505 14
Get your ass off of WebMD and read the FML and take a guess at what OP is implying
Dirtbiker989 6
I can smell a lawsuit