Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
Today, as I was making biscuits my mom joked, "Don't burn the house down." I told her "Don't worry, I know how to make biscuits." The oven caught fire. FML
Today, I told my crush I’d bring homemade cookies. The batch burned so badly the smoke alarm screamed. In desperation, I bought store cookies, put them on a tray, and claimed them as mine. My crush said, “These taste store-bought.” I panicked and confessed. FML
Today, my apartment smelled like something was burning, so I checked the oven, toaster, outlets, and even the hallway. After an hour, I discovered the smell was coming from the candle I had forgotten I'd lit in the bathroom. I had spent an hour investigating a fire that wasn't happening. FML
Today, I opened a bag of flour a little too enthusiastically and it blew up. The resulting cloud of flour set off my smoke alarm. My neighbors then came knocking, wondering if the building was on fire, while I stood there looking like I'd been pranked by a baker. FML
Today, after meaning to do so for a while, I began cleaning my oven. I sprayed it with the foam cleaner stuff, closed the oven for the foam to soak in, then forgot about the whole thing. Later, I preheated the oven for a pizza and triggered a smoke alarm, which brought the fire department to my door. No pizza, just shame. FML
Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML
Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ericwashere 0
The cookie monster is disapointed in you
lindseyluvszac 4
Hurry and extinguish it and say 'That's what you do in case of a small fire.' So that would be the finale to your whole responsibilty speech
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
jennyc246 8
:O you don't use an oven timer? bad baker.
slipknotz 0
Finish your lecture with a bang! Or a flame.
Hockey_fan 0
I know right?...they might be a little burnt but eat around that and were all good!
VickLynx 6
Well atleast they know you are not responsible.
ImmaB3AST 7
Just say they're Cajun and they will eat it anyways.
way2sl0w 1
Looks like the OP's plans... *sunglasses* ...just backfired!
aligiorav 11
Looks like your joke... "sunglasses" ...is lame
MrLookAtThere 10
It looks like we've got ourselves... *sunglasses* ...a repetitive joke
AnagenisisZagus 13
Disgrace. I am utterly disgusted. Hand over those sunglasses. You don't deserve to wear them.
KrisNico03 4
Sooooo, did you get in?
soccer4life20 9
Just be like "siiike! Forgot to make cookies" they won't care. Duhh.
touch_the_sky 7
But they've already seen the fire.
aligiorav 11
"Yeah, that smoke and smell coming out of the oven is your imagination, I never made cookies..."
nolarboot 10
*Psych. Sorry, had to.
meatloaf123 3
Just blame it on somebody else
NeverShoutDana 13
Blame it on the ah-a-a-ah-a alcohol.
perdix 31
If you have small ****: Aw, I'm sorry. If you have big ****, don't worry, you're in. Everyone loves big **** -- even straight women, because they bring good luck and smiles wherever they are.
elisabeth1_fml 0
Unless you're a woman with poached eggs and feels self conscious cause then you ain't getting in. Lol
perdix 31
You see, the wise flat-chested woman will realize that the woman with big **** in close proximity will attract more male attention than she can handle, and she'll be able to scoop up the cast-offs with ease. Often, the big-titted gal will attract so many horndogs that the quality of her rejects is better than the guys who are going for the "poached eggs" out of the chute.