Today, I was babysitting a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. I asked her, "Do you got your bag?" And she said, "No. I have my bag. Babies say got. I'm a big girl." I am 20 years old and in the honors program in my college. I was corrected by a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was reading a picture storybook to a kindergarten kid. She could pronounce more words than me, and corrected me. I'm about triple her age. FML
Today, I got slapped by a date because she thought I was making fun of her speech impediment. I wasn't making fun, I just have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, the 4 year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl." Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML
Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML
Today, at work, I was helping someone who really sounded like she had a Boston accent. So, I asked her where she was from. She has never been out of state. Turns out she has a speech impediment. FML
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, I was babysitting a one year-old. She'd just learned how to say yes, so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said, "Yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty. She looked at me and said, "NO." FML
Today, I was teaching a small group of improv students. I asked one guy to do a monologue, and laughed to myself while he did so. I said, "Sorry, I'm just laughing at the way you're doing it." He then got upset and pointed out that he had a speech impediment. FML
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
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Top comments
effyourlife_ 0
just because she has a speech impediment and is 4 doesn't mean she's dumb stop thinking so highly of yourself, ya dick.
bigmack95 0
thats ur fault u shouldnt speak like a moron
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Comments (284)
Amkii 0
How are you in the honors program? I hope it's not for your speaking/writing skills! She was right. Your grammar sucks!
Ridley_fml 0
Your college must be garbage.
zainrock 2
I was thinking that exact thing. Whether or not it's a 4 year old, speech impediment or not, who talks like that? It shows your own level English just rationalising that question in your own mind and then asking it. Either you got onto that honours program by fluke or your college must be rubbish
yanarach 0
Hahaha. Wow. Good job, good job. "Do you got your bag?" FYL for saying that :P "Got your bag? ", I can understand, but "Do you got your bag?", no. Mind you, I am a grammar freak and would never say something like that. Props to the four-year-old (:
Vren 0
Well, most people would say "Got your bag?" and not think anything of it; adding the "do you" is what makes it sound sillier. As for proper grammar, most spoken language is situational; for instance, how many of you say "It is I" when asked? You don't, because that sounds pretentious and unwieldy. Most of us just say "It's me." Aside from that, a speech impediment has nothing to do with intelligence or knowledge of language, so yes, YDI just for being a prick. Furthermore, I am a college English professor, and trust me when I say most people, whether or not they are in an honors program, struggle with basic grammar. On top of that, I rarely see students who actually write at a college level until much later in their academic careers.
Neckyl 6
I believe when people say "Got your bag?" they are leaving out "Have you." Which would be correct.
YouCanCallMeBo 0
Your college has very low admission standards.
omgitsseejay 0
it's not that big of a deal...
paintergirl12 0
if you really were in any sort of respectable college honours program, you would KNOW that you NEVER say "Do you got your bag?" That just sounds stupid. Also, YDI. Completely. She may have a speech impediment, but that does not mean she is not just as smart as any other four-year-old.
rukusrazor 0
I hate when people talk differently around a baby / kid. A pet peeve of mine. Baby talk is the worst. It doesn't help them in any way and you are just making them that much stupider. Especially when they get to be 5 or so. They want so badly to be like you, don't treat them differently! Probably how the kid got the speech impediment.
jet_fml 0
Speech impediments =/= stupidity. YDI.
hydronium 0
YDI for providing an incorrect model of speech. Kids learn by imitation, and simplifying things for them won't help later.