Today, I told my husband I was taking him out for a birthday... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Unsurprised - 05/01/2019 20:00

Today, I told my husband I was taking him out for a birthday dinner date; it was actually a surprise party I'd arranged with his friends and family. We were a few minutes away when his mother called him to say she would be late. Surprise ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 80

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

onceuponatime456 16

Saturday 5 January 2019 22:46

Probably deliberate on his mother's part!

PenguinPal3017 19

Sunday 6 January 2019 1:29

Yeah, it seems like a lot of parents try to hurt their children's relationships. It wouldn't surprise me if she wanted to ruin the surprise. OP is great for putting in the effort though.

Comments

onceuponatime456 16

Saturday 5 January 2019 22:46

Probably deliberate on his mother's part!

PenguinPal3017 19

Sunday 6 January 2019 1:29

Yeah, it seems like a lot of parents try to hurt their children's relationships. It wouldn't surprise me if she wanted to ruin the surprise. OP is great for putting in the effort though.

INDYSTRUCTABLE 43

Sunday 6 January 2019 3:34

ugh!

Robin_1281540580 7

Sunday 6 January 2019 7:20

Well lesson learnt, dont involve parents in surprise planning. This is not the first FML where a parent has ruined a suprise. Anyone above 50 has a failing bullshit filter that will slip up.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Instagram I need your advice Love Ghosting Social Media Miscellaneous Swimming pool Gross Bodyshaming Anxiety Mental health School Education Embarrassing Parents Awkward Cleaning Family Weird Football Sports Cheating Ironic Relatable Allergies Kids Trust Suspicious Pregnancy Insects

The Top

The Top

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 260

You deserved it 4 118

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 234

You deserved it 3 614

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 355

You deserved it 5 550

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 3 303

Today, I learned that my friend really can't be trusted to set up a party by herself. The only food she provided was tap water, a single sleeve of saltines, and Kraft singles. The only entertainment was Checkers and the first season of Frasier on DVD. We all pooled $250 for her to do this! What the hell happened!? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 190

Today, I'm 58 years-old, and the 40 year-old woman I'm sleeping with is so tight that she "spits me out" every time she has an orgasm. I have to work it back in at least 5 times every time we get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 537