Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML
Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my dad's face flushed when I introduced him to my new boyfriend. I live in a small town, and it turns out my dad recognized him. He's the secret child from an affair two decades ago. He's my half-brother. FML
Today, I came out to my parents as lesbian. Surprisingly, they were OK with it… just as long as I still marry a dude, give them grandbabies, and keep the whole lesbian thing a deep, dark, shameful secret that we never talk about again. FML
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Top comments
SimpleMinds_fml 7
Your dad is awesome.
speshlk37 13
Did your boyfriend go home and right a whiny song about it?
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Comments (359)
boredblonde 17
Sucks for both of you...
Miss_Attitude96 24
And your boyfriend replies: "I didn't know your dad was an ass-hole."
Wtf91101 3
And then her Dad kicks whiny little emo turd to the curb. Your dad is awesome!!! Your boyfriend....not very awesome
Miss_Attitude96 24
Then emo boyfriend bawls his eyes out. While OP's dad is laughing & throwing super spicy chili at him! Lol
perdix 31
Let him (the boyfriend, not your dad) get you pregnant. That'll show him! It takes some sacrifice to get revenge for a wisecrack, but it's so worth it! (More free Life Coaching -- how can I afford to keep giving this gold away!?)
koolkat27 13
how can a girl get another girl pregnant?
perdix 31
Pay attention! The boyfriend is an effeminate-looking male. Just because he looks like a girl doesn't mean that he doesn't have a fully-functioning penis than can inject her with fertile semen. Dad would be so stunned by the irony.
cyberhoy 3
Turkey baster.
RaquelW 7
I used to date emo boys; then I realized I was a lesbian.
The__Redneck 7
So did you quit, or does it pretty much come out to the same thing?
ostrich13 0
Ew. Nasty effin' lesbo.
Epsilonyx 15
Emo/scene? That shit still exists?
every1luvsboners 11
Justin Bieber haircuts? That shit still exists?
ohmandapants 17
Says the emo/scene kid.
Epsilonyx 15
Long hair = emo/scene? Nah. Get bent.
mandibreann1212 6
Smh.
tylersign 11
Yeah; not everyone is a tryhard brodawg. Throw a shirt on, I'm sure there's one around.
Epsilonyx 15
lololololol
SteveTonyY 3
Lol watch out! The emo kids are attacking!!!
koolkat27 13
Just because he has long ish black hair doesn't mean he's emo. He's not pale so he can't be emo either.
batman1024 0
WINNING!
Ghostkiller12345 9
Look when there's 5 comments and more that says WIN or any synonym I can definetly say We got it.
Corygerm 9
Did he cry? jk but yeah your dads a douche.
CyonideCyns 0
No. Her dad is a ******* boss :)
ohmandapants 17
Weeellll... I have concluded that Emo/scene boys have no dicks. It is impossible for them to have a penis and wear pants that tight, and not even have the slightest bulge or bump to indicate the presence of a penis. And they wear girl pants. Papa bear has a point.
LindseyLunatic 8
well, some males have the ability to pull off tight pants/skinny jeans. i enjoy the bulge. looks sexy. :)
THE_A_TEEN 28
@ohmandapants, like the above comment said, some guys do pull it off, and yes I notice they have their junk there, therefore, your commemt is really biased and make you sound like a horny big dick lover. Just saying...
ohmandapants 17
I said you can't see their junk. If your pants are that tight and you can't see your junk then...where is it? It's not about having a big dick, it's the tightness of the pants...should confirm whether or not it's there..
imcutefml 0
Not always true some people are just anorexic
daysleeper666 1
My ex's dad said the same thing to me... Yes I did cry
THE_A_TEEN 28
Stereotypes on this thread are really annoying, my girlfriend is into the emo thing, and no way she act's like most of you "people" say. Just saying my opinion. @op, your daddy's a jackass, but at least he tried to crack some sort of joke...
docscientist 10
Just what you mean by you "people"? If guys want to look like they have vaginas, that's fine, but the dad said a funny thing.