Today, I decided to get some exercise for the first time in months. I went to the store and bought a brand new bicycle and all the necessary paraphernalia. I drove a half hour to a bike trail, unloaded the bike, and started riding. 10 feet later, the chain snapped. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML
Today, I received my new e-bike. I could barely afford it but I desperately needed a method of transportation. On my second ride, I splashed through a fresh sidewalk. There was sidewalk in the chain, in the brakes, everywhere. There goes my brand new bike. FML
Today, I decided to ride my bike for the first time in over a year. It was seemingly going well, until I got to the first hill. As I began to ascend, I was trying a bit to hard and shit my pants, 8 kilometers away from my house. FML
Today, after spending hundreds of dollars on parts and tools, and hours of research to teach myself how to perform the work, I upgraded my bike. It was also today that I made it 4 blocks from my house on my first ride before I hit a curb and broke my collarbone. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, I rode my new bike for the first time. I made it less than 100 feet from my driveway before I was almost flattened by someone driving on the wrong side of the road. Upside: I managed to get out of the way. Downside: I did it by slamming my brand new, expensive bike into a wall. FML
Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML
Today, I tried to be eco-friendly and ride my bike to work for the first time. I made it approximately three minutes before getting my shoelace caught in the gears, sending me crashing to the ground in a spectacular display of uncoordination. Now I have a sprained ankle and a newfound appreciation for cars. FML
Today, whilst riding my brand new dirt bike for the first time, the chain broke and slashed me down the back of the left leg with such force that it chipped the bone. FML
Today, I rode my brand new shiny bicycle to work for the first time. I didn’t have time to figure out how my new lock worked, so I changed the 0000 code to some combination just to find it locked as I came back. After watching a tutorial and trying for 30 minutes, I just cracked it with pliers. FML
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Top comments
TheWhiteDemon 0
at least it wasnt "i was riding a bike and my chain snapped right before a was able to stop at a cliff"
mrahhhhh 21
1. Disassemble your bike. 2. Reattach the handlebars to a wheel and screw the pedals to the wheel nuts. 3. Become "Boskov the Unicycle Master of the World". 4. Get a circus contract. 5. Use the money to buy yourself your own gym and hire a personal trainer. 6. Now become Boskov the strongest man alive. 7. Eat your unicycle to simultaneously become the toughest man alive. 8. Buy a condo in Florida and live happily ever after.
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Comments (84)
melanie_c_g 13
you drove 30 minutes, and spent money on a brand new bike, when you have a pair of legs and a sidewalk, go for a run..