Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some old friends came to visit me after I had my first baby a few weeks ago. When the last friend, who has always been rather self-centered, arrived, she immediately announced her own pregnancy and talked of nothing else for the rest of her stay. FML
Today, as usual, I'm receiving constant texts and calls. I'm socially exhausted and just want to be left alone, but everyone I complain to just thinks I’m bragging about my popularity. Including my therapist. FML
Today, it seems like everyone in my family knew about my boyfriend's new engagement, all except me. FML
Today, after a day of anxiety and worry that something bad would happen, I decided to keep my two daughters home from being flower girls at my sister's wedding. Now my sister and entire family is blowing up my phone. Apparently her wedding is my important than a mother worried about her babies. FML
Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML
Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML
Today, I realized that I could have slept all day yesterday and it would've changed nothing. I don't talk to anyone and I don't do anything. My presence or lack of presence in this world means nothing and affects nobody. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML
Today, I realised that when I was pregnant I had loads of friends, because pregnancy is cute and awesome and empowering, until the baby actually arrived. Then so-called friends don’t want to visit anymore because babies are loud, sticky, poop everywhere, and get in the way of brunch and shopping. FML
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Top comments
thatgirlkat 9
It's happening to me too and I'm in America.
sammyjanette 17
I know! I plan to boycott all major forms of news for the next week because I don't want to hear about it. Though they'll probably be talking about the royal baby for the rest of our lives.
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Comments (211)
AloysiusWeasley 15
Yessssss! Woohoo, she managed to do something women have done for thousands of years, how goddamn special! The only miraculous thing is that one of the royals was smart enough to choose a "commoner" so perhaps the inbreeding will be a bit lessened for a generation or two before they go back to marrying cousins. They need to get that new crotchfruit off my TV.
migueljm5 18
Its nice focusing on a baby coming into the world. It kept me happy in light of the unemployment and bombings and murders
outoftown 27
What's REALLY new this time is that the law was changed and now their first child - if female - would be in direct line to be queen; no baby brother could jump ahead simply by being male. That's a good step into the 21st century. But it was a boy, so no born-to-be-queen this generation. Best wishes, in any case.
HexOpotamus 8
It is really annoying! I am in Australia and I haven't heard the end of it!
spottyblanket 8
It is a big deal op, course people are going to be talking about it ON THE DAY IT WAS BORN. I think you can cope for a few days. :|
Patatamort 4
Everytime I hear royal, I think guillotine,... Let's finish this nonsense, I want to visit their homes!
wanderingshopper 13
Apparently it is having an effect because you're talking about it here.
reaxion 25
Yup, another freshly popped public money leech brought into this world. It will be enjoying taxpayer's money from the second its head showed in her muff. Yay for English royalty.
dudeofawe 15
Well, it is going to be the king/queen in the future, if you live in England it may.
ballt 4
Yep. Kinda sick of hearing about it. Congrats to the couple for having a healthy baby but damn I'm on the other side of the world!