drunkenloser
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
United States
They tried to make me go to rehab…
Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML
Top comments
vexus_fml 5
try AA meetings, they usually help
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Red or white? I personally believe white pairs the best for on the toilet.
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Comments (77)
DrownedMyFish 18
I don't blame you. Constipation can be a bitch.
perdix 31
Do you choose a different wine if you're peeing or pooing? If you match the bouquet of the wine with your bodily excretions, you're not an alcoholic, you're a connoisseur!
allie2590 31
Ew. That is all.
perdix 31
#9, you might want to add some fiber to your diet. I humbly suggest switching to whole-grain Eggos.
Enslaved 38
"Do you have the time To listen to me wine?" Well, sitting on the thinking chair can make Riesling a lot easier for me.(:
martin8337 36
Wine is fine, but whiskey's quicker, suicide is slow with liquor:-)
CallMeMcFeelii 14
About nothing and everything all at once. I am one of those melodramatic fools. Neurotic to the bone no doubt about it. Sometimes I give myself f the creeps, sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. It all keeps adding up and I think I'm cracking up. Am I just paranoid? Or am I just stoned? Ah, old Green Day.. My summer anthems.
fooltemptress 36
Realizing you have a problem and admitting it are huge first steps! I really hope you follow them up by going to AA meetings or seeking help elsewhere.
Memen88 16
You need to get help before you get a DUI and are forced to.
phatdaddy62 23
Umm, you won't get a DUII on the toilet.
Axipiter 24
Dumping Under the Influence.
kinky44 28
Peenot Grigio?
worldclassrager 41
As everyone said go to AA...it's good advice...and if you want to try on your own drop down to one less glass a week and go from there...
olpally 33
Get help. Please! First step is admitting you have a problem op, ,which is what you did now. you've got a long road ahead of you after that though. Good luck.
jrock9093 18
The hand of AA always welcomes you! All you need to remember is to stay sober 24 hours