Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally replied, "Yeth ma'am." She ended the tour right there. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML
Today, I went on a date at a museum, I thought it would be low-pressure. It was going well until I leaned in to read a plaque, tripped, and nearly took down a rope barrier. My date caught me by the arm, asked if I was OK, then spent the next 10 minutes pretending not to notice I'd knocked over a gift shop display with my backpack. FML
Today, I paid $50 to go to a war museum. It was so boring that I fell asleep standing up, lost my balance and faceplanted the floor right in front of our tour guide. FML
Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
Today, at work, I was helping someone who really sounded like she had a Boston accent. So, I asked her where she was from. She has never been out of state. Turns out she has a speech impediment. FML
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML
Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
Today, while thinking about something cringe I did, I accidentally said, "Oh fuck!" aloud during someone's speech. The room besides me and the speaker was otherwise quiet. FML
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Top comments
meg238f 0
Well, that's what happens when you laugh at people with problems. Are you 10?
catkat1988 17
And the FML here is that you didn't get to go on the museum tour? You sound like a 6-year-old who didn't get dessert because you misbehaved. Honestly. How is lisping even that amusing in the first place? And even if it is, try to control yourself and be just a little more sensitive to people with problems. She face up to her minor disability every morning because she has the competencies to do the guided tours, and you ridicule her for it. **** HER life, not yours.
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Comments (297)
sallygee 9
so you think having a speech impediment is funny? that's really not nice and you should be ashamed of yourself. ydi
alicelouise66 5
wow. you think it's funny to laugh at someone else's disability? I think you need to grow up.