That's more than I asked for By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 619 You deserved it 4 829 Share Tweet Share
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML I agree, your life sucks 56 129 You deserved it 7 277
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 50 158 You deserved it 3 304
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML I agree, your life sucks 259 017 You deserved it 42 841
Today, the cashier at the local grocery store in my area said that I don't look a day over 40. I'm 28. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 121 You deserved it 412
Today, I'm sitting at the vet's office while they run expensive tests on my cat. This is to make sure he doesn't have a bowel obstruction from eating the condom that my partner and I used last night. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 281 You deserved it 1 793
Today, after a month of things going wrong in my life and finally getting better, I woke up refreshed and ready to face the day. Then, I fell down the stairs. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 617 You deserved it 156
well he didnt reach and grab it did he?
use it to tape your cleavage shut