Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and a few coworkers when my stomach started growling. It was nearly lunchtime and I guess I was hungry. I tried to play it off like it was just a passing rumble, but it wouldn't stop. Eventually, my boss asked if I needed to use the restroom. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
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Top comments
Qwermy 16
Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?
elmatador615 12
I hate public restrooms so much
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Comments (110)
breeyand 15
well you had a shitty day huh? fyl
worthlessACfan 11
did he know it was you? 0.0
HilarityOfLife 8
Your life doesn't suck man, this is something to laugh about! :)
dellarosa 10
What's wrong with him? Diarrhea it's not something you can control. Anyway, I hope you feel better OP.
misspageantgirl 4
I think it's more of a shocker rather than people not being able to accept it as it is. You don't expect to hear someone releasing themselves like that every single time you walk into a bathroom
Quiet_one 22
You may not expect it when you walk in, but you shouldn't be shocked and offended either. I thought the coworker was really rude here.
WardenWolf 26
Be a man and claim your farts!
alycion 39
I feel bad for op, but at the same time I'm like a five year old with this stuff. When I hear a butt bugle brigade start it's serenade, I go into hysterics. Doesn't matter if it's me or someone else. In fact, I usually wake my husband up laughing if he starts at night. I wish I could control it. But no matter how old I get, farts and belches will always make me laugh.
RedPillSucks 33
Sigh... I laughed more than I should at "butt bugle brigade serenade". Curse you!!!
CupOfCoffee 14
I know what you mean. 23 and still laughing at these jokes like a ten year old.
dreadbeat69 12
He sounds like a pansy.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Well clearly your co-worker is a Disney princess and doesn't poop.
becka2s 14
Shit happens OP! U carry on and forget him!