Today, my ten year-old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore, I'm an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML
Today, my child's kindergarten teacher told me that my child said, "My mom drinks wine and lays down." I don't drink alcohol, although at times I drink juice in a wine glass. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
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Top comments
videoCWK 1
That's what happens when you're religious enough to send your kid to a special school because of it.
dz_zb 0
That's what you get for not discussing these issues with your child earlier. He's 10 and he just discovered alcohol? And on top of that you haven't taught him enough for him to understand the lack of severity in an adult drinking beer? YDI for allowing your child to stay ignorant, thinking it will preserve his innocence.
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Comments (137)
Bob13_fml 0
YDI for sending him to a conservative private school
zander09 0
YDI for sending him to a conservative school.
gregthestrange 3
OP, the first step is admitting you have a problem
ComputerAnalysis 0
Maybe you shouldn't drink
Rodjmeister 0
Ohhhhh lawwrrrd pleeaaase save this man from the hoooorrrroooorrrrs of the devil's drink! /facepalm. In eight years he'll be the one passed out on the frat house's steps...it's always the kids who "always thought alcohol was bad" that end up like that.
teh_ass 0
Wow, try having a smarter kid. I assume Mommy is gone?
Hadley_fml 0
YDI it for sending him to a conservative private school. I was sent there as a kid, and finally was able to get out of it between 3rd and 4th grade and never looked back.
rinnychan 2
Poor kid...why are you sending him there???
tiltwrestler 0
stop having beer with dinner then!!! ESPECIALLY if you send him to a conservative private school! double standard much? PS his logic is actually 100% correct. You are no doubt addicted to alcohol, as you have made it a routine. I can guarantee that if you tried quitting it altogether, it would be VERY difficult. Therefore, you are indeed an alcoholic- maybe not to the extent that the people at the CC guessed... but you are an alcoholic to some extent, unless you quit cold turkey tomorrow with no problem!
cyxx 0
25 - What? I didn't say shelter him. Quite the opposite - I said TALK to him about the drinking. Sorry if you didn't get it, by that I meant talk to him about how it's not a problem and OP's not addicted. Or talk to the headmaster about what's going on at the school, because the headmaster should understand it's not an addiction and be able to tell the kids that. And then I said cut down on the drinking in front of him. If he's genuinely upset by it, and OP really isn't an alcoholic, it might make the kid feel better if OP can show him it's possible to not drink every day, and that drinking a couple times a week is okay. That doesn't mean I want to keep the kid "uninformed". Chill out.