Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML
Today, I literally had to say the words, “Please stop twerking” to my niece. She’s seven. FML
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML
Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to, "Stop sticking your butt out!" My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML
Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML
Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Give her a link to a video of twerking, especially Miley Cyrus. She'll never ask you anything again!
Roxy Rousseau 11
Show her a YouTube video of people twerking. She’ll either love it or hate it.
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Give her a link to a video of twerking, especially Miley Cyrus. She'll never ask you anything again!
Roxy Rousseau 11
Show her a YouTube video of people twerking. She’ll either love it or hate it.
Yudith 28
Don't forget to film her movements when you teach her how to twerk. You know, for educational purpose.
jfigley 5
Thats kinda funny. Should have just told her to look it up on YouTube
AmbrosiaFan 19
How old are you? Under 18, tell dad you don't know what that is. Over 18, he can't ground you.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Tell her to Google it like a normal person.
randybryant799 21
I don't understand why you didn't just tell her what it was? That's ridiculous.