Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a "damn fine ass." I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML
Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML
Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML
Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML
Today, while at my friend's house, I noticed her brother had a bit of an accent. I laughingly said "Is it me or does your little brother have an accent?" She stared and replied with "No, he has autism." FML
Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML
Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML
Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML
Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her, "That guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, that's my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said, "EW." FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
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Top comments
Blanche_fml 0
more of an fhl your brother just said his sign language teacher had a nice ass.
mdmd136 0
AWKWARD
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Comments (64)
choppedNskrewed 0
heehee. the person above me used some form of the word "idiot" THREE times in like, one paragraph. FYL. go get a thesaurus or something.
Neep_fml 0
More of a FML for your brother, not you.
zandar 0
what are the odds. wow.
bitchplease69_fml 0
Now he's 8.
mrcarmine 0
LMAO i bet she was flattered. great story.
kinkysexx 0
why would she teach a 6 year old how to sign damn fine ass?
okiidokii_fml 6
He's probally picked if up from his deaf friends- lol
vancha_fml 0
thats great in the most akward way .....too bad there wasnt one more girl in the elevator
RikaCarbon 0
That's just as bad getting caught starring at a girls boobs..xD
Superman8_fml 0
lmao at #36 ...even though this fml isn't and fml and is probably fake
XoBlueEyesXo 0
Yeah, #26, the deaf kid is such a smug jerk for talking in a different language. He totally did it on purpose to feel superior and not because, you know, he's deaf and has no other way to communicate with people. ... ... ...