scared2poop
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Brighton, Australia
Shy colon
Today, like many other days, I drove 15 minutes away from my girlfriend's house to poop at the local McDonald's, because I'm too scared of her roommates hearing my extreme noise terror. FML
Top comments
CheekyRaccoon 27
It has been said that the noises that OP makes while dropping brown bombs are loud enough to scare off a large pack of lions. I've never seen it happen before, but I heard that OP once saved someone about to be mauled by lions. Truly remarkable stuff.
MisterEx 28
But OP, what about the terror innocent McDonalders will be hearing? Or the walls? Walls have ears too you know! Keep that in mind, and happy pooping.
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Comments (30)
WardenWolf 26
Seriously? Grow a pair. YDI.
maharb01 17
Golden Buttcheeks, er. . .arches. . . for the win!
ohSNAPyall 27
See a nutritionist...
Melodija 19
You can put some toilet paper in the toilet and turn on the tap while you're in the bathroom and that should mask any noises you may make
Hazel515 22
I want cake
tomvertigo 17
I feel your pain, OP. I used to do route work that was a pay-by-the-stop for a living but have an irrational fear of taking the Browns to the Superbowl in public restrooms. I'd drive to a state park that had incredibly private bathrooms no matter where I was to go. I got over this because I just forced myself to go to public ones. It's human nature to poo, don't worry about all the weird noises and smells - apologize if anyone calls you out on it... they're immature if they do anyways!
lazlowrave 10
Some say, it's sounds like the actual dropping of bombs.
adonatrix1996 8
I turn the fan on when I poop with my girlfriend in the house.
RichardPencil 32
You mean the smell is so delightful that the sound is the only problem? Yeah, that's what I thought. Now your drive should be 45 minutes each way.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How do you hold it in during that drive?!