Oh, hai!

By Alyxandrea Loffer - 26/07/2020 14:00

Today, while answering hospice calls, I had to take this one with a straight face. FML

agreeclassic 747

vote type 1 141

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Classic blunder

By churchman - 28/06/2021 00:01 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I serve at church and had a funeral. As I greeted the family, someone asked how I was doing. Without thought, I responded, "Good to be alive." FML

agreeclassic 420

vote type 1 812

No reply

By Alex - 06/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Jeffersonville

Today, my mom didn’t answer the phone when I called. My husband promptly said, with a straight face, “Would you answer you?” FML

agreeclassic 453

vote type 1 162

Brain freeze

By Anonymous - 13/06/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML

agreeclassic 520

vote type 1 189

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - 02/12/2025 09:00

Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML

agreeclassic 46

vote type 1 505

Death Rattle part 2: Electric Boogaloo

By 0h_Boy - 04/03/2020 18:00

Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML

agreeclassic 1 926

vote type 1 172

Adding insult to injury

By Anonymous - 01/09/2021 13:01

Today, working on an ambulance, we had an elderly man who was obviously scared, so to get his mind off things I made small talk. When I went to ask if he was retired, it came out as, "so Steve, are you retarded?" My partner/supervisor across from me had tears running down her face from trying not to laugh. FML

agreeclassic 992

vote type 1 218

DOA

By Nasu Johi - 06/09/2018 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, as a CNA, I had to go through the belongings of a patient. His phone rang and I answered - it was his boss. As I explained, he cut me off and said to "drop the act" and "he better be there now or he's fired". He was pronounced dead-on-arrival. FML

agreeclassic 3 698

vote type 1 200

By oaksac191 - 26/10/2010 16:50 - United States

Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML

agreeclassic 28 461

vote type 1 7 780

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 10:15 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

agreeclassic 33 984

vote type 1 3 123

By Anonymous - 30/08/2016 15:01

Today, at the funeral home where I work, I asked my boss if it was time to "bring out the stiff". I didn't realize the guy's family was not only in the building, but within earshot as well. FML

agreeclassic 6 845

vote type 1 20 439

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Today, I finally had sex with a coworker I’d been flirting with for nearly 2 and half years. The sex lasted less than 2 and a half minutes. FML

agreeclassic 1 626

vote type 1 733

Today, because no one else was willing to, I had to explain to my uncle that he's white, that I'm not his grandfather, and that he's mentally challenged. FML

agreeclassic 858

vote type 1 121

Today, I sent a message to my crush saying, “Hey, how are you?” I immediately followed it up with another message that said, “Oops, wrong person,” because I panicked. Now he probably thinks I wasn’t even trying to talk to him. FML

agreeclassic 96

vote type 1 620

Today, I was going out with my supermodel-gorgeous friend, so I put extra effort into looking good. I thought I looked pretty good, but when we got to the subway station, a drunk old man looked at us and loudly announced, "That's always the way it is, there's a fit one and an ugly one." FML

agreeclassic 34 189

vote type 1 3 446

Today, I came out to my parents. They still think I'm joking. FML

agreeclassic 32 518

vote type 1 5 950

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

agreeclassic 28 360

vote type 1 3 269