Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML
Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML
Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
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Top comments
xchyennex 0
well at least you're awake now.
JHC88 2
I started laughing halfway through reading this as I knew what the outcome would be - I've also done this OP, learn to laugh at yourself.
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Comments (109)
memedlam 0
fcking lier
Grimmerie 31
herp derp i inglish goode.
Nimmrodel 11
Just reading that gave me a headache and it was only two words.
ILoveEggnog 7
I think my left eyeball exploded trying to read that.
Nimmrodel 11
At least you can know you beat someone up, to bad it was yourself. :p
Nimmrodel 11
Wow wasn't paying attention, I meant at least you know you can Woops.
pieceofmyheart 0
I do that sometimes when I try pulling my shirt over my cleavage
singer4life666 0
Me too haha.
enonymous 9
FALCON UPPERCUT
crmaes 0
haha well played btw love Ur profile pic haha classic
southerngalslove 15
bet you didn't go back to sleep
Descend 0
that's what I was thonking lol
thaney18 0
I know how you feel. I punched myself in the face once cause my cousin made me play this fist game long story
sincerely331 0
I'm sorry OP but I instantly started laughing @ this before I even finished through the whole thing. I agree, FYL
JHC88 2
I started laughing halfway through reading this as I knew what the outcome would be - I've also done this OP, learn to laugh at yourself.
abby1029 8
ouch i did that same thing trying to pull my blanket but insted i hit my cheek
DalPozzo13 10
Haha idiot