Today, I'm trying to sleep. If I fall asleep now, that's still four hours of sleep. My brain: "Enjoy this retrospective of assorted failures from your childhood through today! We now join the program already in progress." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to bed early, proud of myself for being responsible. However, I lay there wide awake replaying every awkward moment from the past ten years, including things no one else can possibly remember. I checked the clock at 3:47 AM and had to wake up at 6. FML
Today, at 4.20 a.m., I'm awake, scrolling through this app for no reason other than to procrastinate going to sleep and having to deal with yet more inevitable nightmares and weird dreams. FML
Today, there are two parts to my life: The 12 hours I spend in bed each night trying to fall asleep, with limited success, and the 12 hours I'm up and trying *not* to fall asleep, also with limited success. FML
Today, I thought I'd been really clever by setting my alarm ten minutes earlier to get up on time. I did wake up ten minutes earlier… then promptly fell back asleep for another hour. FML
Today, my brain hates me and refuses to let me sleep. No matter how physically exhausted I am, my mind just keeps racing. I just wanna get some sleep! FML
Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML
Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML
Today, I'm doing the school run. I went to bed early and took a sleeping pill for my insomnia so I could be productive. Even if I could sleep past my partner snoring like a cave bear with sinus infection, it turns out that my sleeping pills make me hyper. The next person who says ADHD is fun is getting slapped. FML
Today, I procrastinated on doing my on-line training for my new job. Thinking it would only take a few hours to complete, I started it in the early evening. It is now almost 4 am, and I start my new job in 3 hours. There is still about another hour and a half on on-line training left. FML
Today, I woke up and remembered that I'm in law school. Now, I'm about to go to sleep, and I'm still in law school. FML
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Top comments
arbortardo 2
Is there a follow up feature of “here are a ton of possible mistakes you can and probably will make” just in case you have extra time before your alarm goes off in the morning or is that just a me thing?
Anderling 33
For me, it helps to think about a Mythbusters episode where they checked to see if taking naps between doing parts of a task would help their productivity. Even if they couldn’t fall asleep and just lay there for a bit, they still reported feeling less tired and were more productive than the people who didn’t do that. Sometimes just knowing that helps me relax enough to fall asleep. Wishing you the best of luck either way.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Hey, at least you didn't plan the Fyre Festival. Look! You got a genuine RichardPencil sarcastic comment. There's a success! I'm glad I could put your life on the right track. You're welcome.
arbortardo 2
Is there a follow up feature of “here are a ton of possible mistakes you can and probably will make” just in case you have extra time before your alarm goes off in the morning or is that just a me thing?
Anderling 33
For me, it helps to think about a Mythbusters episode where they checked to see if taking naps between doing parts of a task would help their productivity. Even if they couldn’t fall asleep and just lay there for a bit, they still reported feeling less tired and were more productive than the people who didn’t do that. Sometimes just knowing that helps me relax enough to fall asleep. Wishing you the best of luck either way.
Charlie Given 28
actually you're looking at it the wrong way, they're not failures they were opportunities for you to learn what not to do, try not to be so hard on yourself you're not a failure you're just learning like everybody else in life.