Today, I got pissed and tried to storm out of work, only to get outside and realize I couldn't because I'd let my coworker borrow my car for lunch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML
Today, I was running late for work. I was trying to find my car keys, then realized I'd left them in my boyfriend's car. My phone charger was locked in my car, and my phone was dead. I couldn’t get hold of my boss and explain what had happened. I’m fired, aren’t I? FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. I'd set an alarm but forgot to turn my car off, having switched the AC on due to the blistering heat. The cool air lulled me to sleep. When I woke up, my boss was knocking on my window. Apparently, I'd knocked the car into neutral and it had rolled into his parking spot. FML
Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lantz4levi 19
This needs more information because walking out of work is pretty serious
Magnoxidans 19
Should be using the uber app not the FML one ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (14)
Scotth901 22
Walking is for winners?
lantz4levi 19
This needs more information because walking out of work is pretty serious
Magnoxidans 19
Should be using the uber app not the FML one ;)
Bloodknight 22
Considering the name, I'm guessing you regret that decision, no?
itssnotfunny 24
Next time just go to the bathroom and punch the wall. It's discreet enough to keep you out of trouble, but you'll still hurt yourself a little. But it'll make you feel damn better.
Nnzyb 8
Hope you're not stop making payments on that car! Or need to buy gas. Or food. Or pay bills. That's assuming you live paycheck-to-paycheck. If they were mistreating you and you can afford it, by all means, walk. Don't expect a good reference for job abandonment though.
Thor1012 28
Take it by username you lost your job??
im_teekay 7
Took me a while to figure out that OP was angry and not inebriated; in NZ and the UK to get pissed means to get drunk, whereas to be angry is to be pissed off
species4872 20
In Oz it means either one. It depends on in what context it's said.
Exaspera 55
So much for indignant drama!
hannahscott33 6
Georgia!!