Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML
Today, I heard something that sounded like a series of gunshots outside my house. My Dad screamed, "Get down!" at the top of his lungs. The whole family immediately dropped to the floor, my sister whimpering and trembling, only moments later to hear my Dad cackling uncontrollably over us. They were just fireworks. FML
Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML
Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML
Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I was on a Zoom call with my therapist and we were discussing my PTSD. He assured me that I was safe and no one would burst into the room. Just then, my mom burst into my room and started screaming about dirty dishes. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML
Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML
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Top comments
shaBAMalex 0
Calm down. Lol.
nomadxx7 0
Gunshots =/= popcorn Come out the country. I'll show you what gunshots sound like
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Comments (254)
Orlinda 2
SHE IS SOOO WHIITE!!!like please get a life!
mikey41414 0
wtf... this has to be fake... and your a moron...
Tim_Otay 0
you started your comment with "today my mom made me clean" You poor thing, that you have to actually do something around the house. Mistaking popcorn for gunfire, you have lived a sheltered life. YDI you spoilt brat
scottie06 0
Well, I guess I can understand people diving to the floor for a moment. People used to do that at school when my friend's car backfired. But instantly crying and screaming? Get a grip. Seek out some counseling.
shaPOW 0
"there weren't people shooting guns around my house. FML." what?
FML_x2 0
Epic fail.
jam26 0
car backfire, yes. popcorn, no. I agree with #73. Epic Fail
suckstobeyou3 0
You must have a hell of a time on the 4th of July.
blankslate 0
You must have some really sensitive ears.
jhesyckuh 0
fyl. your mom was making you clean while she sits around eating popcorn? bitch.