cody4prez
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Groucho Marx fan
Today, my dad told my mom to hurry up or they'd miss the start of their concert. She said, "I'm coming, I'm coming…" and without thinking, I blurted out, "That's what she said." They're super religious, and I'm now grounded till January. FML
Top comments
Tripartita 45
Just be glad they didn't make you get down on your knees and beg for forgiveness. Wait. Just be glad they didn't get out the whip for you flagellate yourself with. Damnit! Just be glad they didn't dole out some religious punishment that doesn't also sound like it was torn from an S&M instruction book.
MitchRapp 20
If that line is the worst thing you say or do. You will turn out fine in life.
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Comments (44)
Tripartita 45
Just be glad they didn't make you get down on your knees and beg for forgiveness. Wait. Just be glad they didn't get out the whip for you flagellate yourself with. Damnit! Just be glad they didn't dole out some religious punishment that doesn't also sound like it was torn from an S&M instruction book.
brownapple 22
Dude, your comments never fail to expand my vocabulary.
Tripartita 45
I'm glad to propagate my sesquipedalian manner of speaking.
Seabass_Chan 33
YDI for using a line that hasn't been funny in years except to middle schoolers.
LyricaSilvan 30
Somebody call the Sense of Humor police, cuz I found a buzzkill.
TAntobella 14
I seriously doubt that was the reason why he was grounded, dear.
MitchRapp 20
If that line is the worst thing you say or do. You will turn out fine in life.
H4H 15
So without second thought you just use that line?
anonymoususer070 17
How old are you exactly? Just haven't heard that line since high school(and even then I think most people found it annoying and I'm guessing that's about your age since you're grounded). I know some people were open with their parents and don't care I just feel that would have been super awkward in high school haha but definitely not enough to be grounded, sorry your parents are that religious you can't make jokes, good luck with the grounding OP!
interesting33 37
For one comment you are grounded for the next three quarters of a year!? That isn't punishment that is unreasonable use of punishment and is isolating you from friends for an awfully long time. I would wonder if it is child abuse if they keep you in for that long, especially for something as tiny as making a dirty joke. It might be worth letting your school kinow so they are aware.
lationas 25
That is definitely child abuse! But deeply religious parents are sadly known for harsh reactions towards things they deem to be immoral.
ThrottleJockey 36
Oh for Pete's sake, that's not child abuse. Talk to a few people who were actually abused as kids and you'll see how foolish your comment was. Harsh, yes, but grounding someone for several months isn't abuse unless they're withholding food or something like that. OP will live.
ThatHorse 15
As someone who was abused as a child, that is in fact child abuse. It's an isolation exercise designed to make the child feel lonely and unloved for extended periods of time, most likely causing them to seek validation from their family by conforming to their belief system unwillingly.
mcr101 14
He didn't say what he was grounded from. It could just be from electronics. Or sometching similar
Setareh23 34
I guess it also depends on whether the parents are the type to actually enforce their punishments. I've had friends who'd often get "grounded" for long periods of time, but in the end the parents didn't care about it within a week or two.
gracehi 33
While the punishment was extreme for the crime, I have to say this is a bit of a YDI. That's a risqué thing to say even to non-religious parents.
Angelalalalala 9
Dude, that's your mom.
confused_wandere 26
That's why some religious people seriously piss me off. Punished until January for a simple statement like that? What the hell! That's absolutely ridiculous and the OPs mother seriously needs to get a life.
ConfusedCat 11
As a religious person, I agree.
protoskore 27
According to strict old testament law, a child who disrespects his/her parents must be put to death. (Lev. 20:9) so if you're only grounded, they're not all that religious.
MidnaLink 35
No one in this century would even be stupid enough to follow THAT law anyway.
Madrias 36
No, there are probably some incredibly moronic parents who probably would.
protoskore 27
Lots of people are quoting and suggesting everyone should follow Leviticus 20:13 I just like to remind the world about all the other *fun* laws in the same chapter.
Catdragon 40
My mom hates it when I read Leviticus, but he's my favorite part of the bible. Because the religious people like to pretend his chapter isn't there except for one part of it.
snarkytruth 37
Look up honor killings. Happens all the time. It's happened several times in our own country (USA). as well usually by immigrants.