Seriously?
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Dogs are people too
Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is still obsessed with me. Apparently he's named his dog after me and talks to her like she's a real person. FML
Top comments
myusername83 10
Does he kiss the dog like she's you, too?
junkman6 22
I once named a Pokemon after an ex girlfriend... Of course it was magikarp denoting how much of a "dead fish" she was in bed.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (68)
challan 19
maybe he just thinks you're a bitch.
JMichael 26
At least when he gives the dog commands it'll obey.
perdix 31
#1, I guess to be a first, the your/you're/yore distinction has to slide. I know you know better :D
perdix 31
#29, thanks, Didi! challan nailed me a couple days ago about my grammar slip-ups, so I just wanted to tease her playfully in return ;)
challan 19
Perdix, my friend, if my phone has messed with me, I apologize. I don't believe I have ever picked on you at all!!!
ahippienamedrae 10
Aw man I was going to make that joke. ):
Kamon97 23
Haha #1 has a great point maybe I should get a dog and name her after my cheating ex :p
perdix 31
#51, it was the one where the boyfriend dumped the OP with the mother giving him tips. I screwed up at least twice in my comment, and you pointed that out. Don't worry, I know with you it is all in good fun (as is my "picking" on you) ;)
challan 19
you even remember which one?! I'm going to need to write a stalking fml about you...
happyevil 10
Naming the dog after you, that's weird, but talking to the dog like it is an actual person isn't that bad... I do it all the time. The good part is he can't tell me to shut up. :)
anonymous_kenie 7
Hey, you're admired
anonymous_kenie 7
**** you
JMichael 26
Really number 6?? I think that was a little uncalled for.
myusername83 10
Does he kiss the dog like she's you, too?
xBethanyC 15
I really hope they don't do more than that..
bellebe1998 16
oh god. tmi...
ZY1431 24
well thats a bit much.
perdix 31
Or he talked to you like you were a dog?
perdix 31
Come to think of it, I talk very sweetly to my dog. If I talked to women that way, I'd probably get licked and humped a lot more :)
murdersquirrel 15
my first thought was "but I talk to my cat like she's a real person, why is that weird?"
Cupcake_kid 5
Hopefully he won't start stalking you.
killthedead 13
What's wrong with stalking someone?
Jasmeent11 15
I think it sounds so creepy already, wouldn't be surprised if he did.
kinky44 28
Doggy style?
thatnucca 36
Since the romantic aspect failed, the poor lad's trying to get a best friend out of the situation...
TwiztedYuri 9
********** jokes... haha
thatnucca 36
Aren't dogs supposed to be man's best friend? Dirty minded people... Lol
junkman6 22
I once named a Pokemon after an ex girlfriend... Of course it was magikarp denoting how much of a "dead fish" she was in bed.
Nohman 14
That's a little Farfetch'd.
MidnaLink 35
Kinda fails when the stupid things evolve though!
gracehi 33
So she seemed nice and harmless at first, and then she transformed into a terrifying monster?
MidnaLink 35
lol
Radayam 19
I named my Ditto after my girlfriend after I found out that she had been sleeping with everyone. :(
chosha_fml 27
#11 Maybe you just didn't know how to bring her to life?
Puffgurl 6
44 That sounds like me xD
Derp_Jerpinson 2
Well tbh #10 even if shes a dead magikarp in bed, ALL women know the splash attack....the trick is getting them to use it in battle lol
mangobbler 11
I don't want to jinx it, but unless he does it already, stalking will get on that list of odd behaviour. Be prepared OP.
zahidnasir 22
welcome to the bitch-zone