Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was stung by a red wasp. While my husband heroically killed it, I, the person terrified of wasps after being swarmed as a child, collapsed, sobbed, screamed, and almost vomited from sheer terror. Give me snakes, spiders, insects galore and I am fine. Single flying asshole of doom and I turn into a child. FML
Today, it was my first day being home after doing a 4 and a half month hike through the Appalachian Trail. This evening, I stepped out my front door and directly onto a copperhead snake. It thought my leg was tasty, and I went to the ER for the first time in over 20+ years. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML
Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML
Today, whilst out on a walk with the dogs, I decided to explore a different part of the woods. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my bum. Then another. And another. I realised it was wasps and ran. I've been stung 11 times and have to go back tomorrow for the coat I dropped. FML
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML
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Top comments
Halfass 8
This FML sounded like a bible story.
RichardPencil 32
Just lock your WiFi with a password and the snake will leave soon enough. Freeloaders!
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Comments (58)
willydafo 10
This is probably the most Australian thing I've ever seen
Mooglefox 24
One of two things you can do. You can either call Animal Control, or the snake must die!
novdestiny 23
Snakes are a protected species. I've no idea why, there's plenty of them ******* around!
fuxtix 17
All this post needs is some lager and the word "yute" and it would be the most Australian post ever!
missoops 21
Ute*
lostinOz 20
It's spelled ute.....short for utility vehicle
caitywebbkid 5
Man I love this country
ReaperofSouls42 2
Two words. Flame. Thrower.
Tillie Jenkins 5
So just call an exterminator!
da_epic_failman 7
Never going to live in Australia. Too many dangerous animals, and too many pesky animals.
shannon2348 14
I'm sorry but this is just ridiculous. Do you really plan on trying to chase away every snake you see? Leave it alone and it will eventually go away.