Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was stung by a red wasp. While my husband heroically killed it, I, the person terrified of wasps after being swarmed as a child, collapsed, sobbed, screamed, and almost vomited from sheer terror. Give me snakes, spiders, insects galore and I am fine. Single flying asshole of doom and I turn into a child. FML
Today, it was my first day being home after doing a 4 and a half month hike through the Appalachian Trail. This evening, I stepped out my front door and directly onto a copperhead snake. It thought my leg was tasty, and I went to the ER for the first time in over 20+ years. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML
Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML
Today, whilst out on a walk with the dogs, I decided to explore a different part of the woods. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my bum. Then another. And another. I realised it was wasps and ran. I've been stung 11 times and have to go back tomorrow for the coat I dropped. FML
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML
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Top comments
Halfass 8
This FML sounded like a bible story.
RichardPencil 32
Just lock your WiFi with a password and the snake will leave soon enough. Freeloaders!
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Comments (58)
LunaMyst 19
Is it sad I read this and had to check if this was Australian
Hekmatyar 11
Of course this happened in Australia...
betterbutterbucket 6
I was thinking, "that's a crazy story, it can't be tr...oop. It's in Australia. That explains it"
Hippo_Holiday 19
You know what they say about Australia
Rexhunter95 7
OP here, I have since managed to remove the snake, using a long piece of poly pipe and some rope fed down it so I could snag it. It has since been released in the forestry near where I live, unharmed. It killed my favourite chook that got too close. As for the wasp stings, it is painful but the pain is being over shadowed by the itching that is setting in. I was bloody lucky that I wasn't anaphylactic.
Selina1407 11
whats a chook :o
cheshireau 26
Read the first comment thread, it's a chicken!
mikbrooke 25
a chicken. (:
kt1919 0
It is a chicken!
notmyfam 10
A chicken
IndigoDreams 9
I believe it's a chicken?
novdestiny 23
chicken.
J352SAURUS 30
Chicken.
Ashfyr 18
Chook is a chicken
Ashfyr 18
Chook is a slang for chicken
ngimwa 5
chicken
momac86 17
Ssssssssoundsssss painful
pikachurr 1
Only in Australia ?
RememberSchlitz 9
Ya know, if y'd a hadja scattagun, yon snake'd be no botha 'tall an' y'd prolly be sting-free asides. </obigatory 'Murican comment>
RememberSchlitz 9
Obligatory 'Murican comment. It translates as "You know, if you had your shotgun, that snake would be no bother at all, and you probably would be sting- free besides."
caitywebbkid 5
Nah snakes here are immune to bullets....
Luxxi 18
You living in Australia explains everything.
thelittlem 15
as soon as I read chook shed I knew you were from Australia lol.