Anonymous · 13 May 2026, 00:00 ·Bournemouth, United Kingdom

Wonky birthday!

Today, halfway through assembling a toy kitchen for a birthday, I realized the instructions made no sense and half the screws looked identical. I still somehow finished it and felt triumphant until the kid opened the oven door, the whole thing tipped sideways, and I had to spend the rest of the party holding it together with one hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 You deserved it 316

0 comment Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Padstow, Australia

Disappointed

Today, my friend asked if she could come over to my place. Since it's my birthday tomorrow, I said sure. Turns out she just wanted to copy all my notes for our upcoming exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 838 You deserved it 3 963

46 comments Share

NunjaBusiness · 8 May 2026, 22:00 ·Hershey, United States

It wasn't a good day

Today, it was a milestone birthday - another zero year - and I got many acknowledgments from everyone in my family, except for the one person that means the most to me: my wife never acknowledged my birthday. No card, text or anything. I truly believe she hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395 You deserved it 94

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 2 May 2026, 12:00 ·Fulham, United Kingdom

Thanks, I guess

Today, my kids and husband brought me a bunch of ornamental cabbages for my birthday, rather than flowers. Why? Because, "you're more of a cabbage sort of person." Ah well, guess it's an improvement on last year when they forgot entirely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346 You deserved it 70

1 comment Share

Numskull · 27 April 2026, 09:00 ·Perth, Australia

Where were you?

Today, I showed up to my mate's wedding. There was a board for someone's 100th birthday instead. I screwed up the dates and the wedding was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 You deserved it 492

0 comment Share

reginaphalange · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·Australia

Some BFF…

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 257 You deserved it 3 378

120 comments Share

Anonymous · 18 April 2026, 22:00 ·United States

I hate surprises

Today, my husband and kids apparently forgot my birthday. I was so happy at first because I have always hated my birthday, and thought it could just be another day on the calendar. No. They planned and threw a massive surprise party for me when I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200 You deserved it 375

2 comments Share

Carson · 18 April 2026, 03:00 ·Van Nuys, United States

Best of luck

Today, I got an email from my ex after he ghosted me for 5 months with no specific cause. He told me he had been seeing someone else for 3 of the months he had ghosted me for. He ended up changing his number and everything. What a lovely way to spend your birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354 You deserved it 67

2 comments Share

Baddad · 15 April 2026, 09:00 ·Toronto, Canada

I want to ride my bicycle

Today, I assembled my kid’s birthday bike without reading the instructions. I proudly presented it, only for him to sit on it and immediately realize the handlebars were on backwards. The training wheels were also uneven, so it leaned like a sinking ship. My kid said, “It’s OK Dad, it's not your fault,” which hurt more than if he’d laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122 You deserved it 536

1 comment Share

Jim · 9 April 2026, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Happy birthday, huh?

Today, it's was my birthday. My wife did not get me anything or do anything for me. Instead, she said, "I'll knock an extra day off your sex ban." Sadly, this is probably the nicest thing she's done for my birthday in several years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559 You deserved it 147

4 comments Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

No one's favorite

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 891 You deserved it 3 817

77 comments Share

Alexandra · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Heckmondwike, United Kingdom

Netflix is a drug

Today, my fiancé completely missed the birth of our first child because he had started watching a new series on Netflix and really wanted to know how it ended. By the time he made it to the hospital our daughter was already 7 hours old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 892 You deserved it 1 174

60 comments Share

ImmaLoser · 5 October 2025, 15:00

Favorite

Today, the girl I have a crush on posted on her Instagram story: “Best present ever from the most amazing guy ever!” One of my friends gave her the same item I got her for her birthday last month. When I gave it to her, she nonchalantly said, “Cool, thanks.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 404 You deserved it 127

2 comments Share

Embarassed · 1 October 2025, 22:00

Trapped

Today, I wished my best friend a happy birthday with a long, heartfelt post on social media. Turns out her birthday is next week, she'd just set a trap by changing the date on her profile. I was so confident that I even added, “Finally remembered this year!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 188 You deserved it 368

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 20 September 2025, 22:00

Time for plan A

Today, it’s my birthday. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in June and was not planning on having another kid. Took a Plan B pill after a rendezvous in August, but found out this AM that I’m pregnant. Guess the Plan B didn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324 You deserved it 238

3 comments Share

Sam · 20 September 2025, 09:00

A day to remember

Today, it's my birthday. My grandmother died yesterday. We were close and she basically raised me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530 You deserved it 48

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 12 September 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Party time!

Today, I surprised my friend at their birthday party with a confetti cannon. I pulled the string, expecting colorful joy. Instead, it misfired, launched backwards and smacked me in the forehead. The confetti came out five seconds later, directly onto my dazed head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168 You deserved it 299

1 comment Share

misswhiskers · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·Australia

Great timing, dude

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 532 You deserved it 3 447

98 comments Share

Samantha · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·Singapore

Clout chasing

Today, I turned 22. Instead of cutting my own cake, I stood by and smiled at a friend's belated birthday party. Her birthday was actually two months ago, but she decided to have her party on my birthday. No one remembered mine but everyone got her beautiful gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 506 You deserved it 5 203

192 comments Share

Bruh · 11 August 2025, 15:00 ·Mexico City, Mexico

How could you be so heartless?

Today, my mother and my sister chewed me out for not attending my sister's birthday party. I'm sorry for having both of my fucking legs broken in a motorcycle accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541 You deserved it 69

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 4 August 2025, 15:00 ·United Kingdom

Bad connexion

Today, for his birthday, I bought my son the Xbox game he wanted. Seven hours for the game to install, two hours to download, then install an update, which failed twice and had to be restarted. He was a nightmare all afternoon waiting for it, then it was bedtime and the game still wasn’t ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490 You deserved it 153

3 comments Share

Shelley05 · 29 July 2025, 12:00 ·Santa Fe, United States

Socialite

Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 150

3 comments Share

Jeremy · 28 July 2025, 22:00 ·United States

New BFF unlocked

Today, I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday. I sang the Birthday song off-key but in a spirited way, before she interrupted to say, “My birthday was yesterday.” She then added, “By the way, your ex remembered, and I think we're besties now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 141 You deserved it 535

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 21 July 2025, 00:00 ·Germany

Yay!

Today, I got out of work, and just wanted to relax after a stressful day. Instead, I came home to a surprise birthday party that my boyfriend set up. My birthday isn't even until next week, and I secretly hate two of the people he invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430 You deserved it 220

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 19 July 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Gimme a break

Today, it's been two years since my dad died on my birthday. Last year I was able to be out of the US on the day thanks to rewards points, because I don't want to be around my normal boring routine the day of. This year I could have made it if my car's repair cost less than $600. Turns out it's going to cost $1000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399 You deserved it 106

1 comment Share

not_so_sweet_sixteen · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Dude, where's my car?

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a three month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 725 You deserved it 56 301

214 comments Share

I hate myself · 21 June 2025, 15:00 ·San Francisco, United States

Where am I?

Today, I thought I was going to a friend’s birthday party. Turns out, it was a surprise party for someone else... and I was the surprise. Everyone shouted “Surprise!” and I realized I wasn’t invited. I awkwardly ate a cupcake and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 102

1 comment Share

Taylor · 20 June 2025, 12:00 ·Las Vegas, United States

It's a surprise alright

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my best friend. I told her to “be home by 7 for a little surprise.” She got home at 6:55… with her new boyfriend. Surprise: he hadn’t been invited. Awkward family introductions followed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351 You deserved it 113

0 comment Share

Kilamo · 16 June 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Careless words

Today, after burying my dad on my birthday, one of my aunts walked up to me and said, "Well at least you won't forget your birthday." I wanted to cuss her out so bad, like, bitch, how would I forget my birthday and the day I buried my dad? FML

I agree, your life sucks 523 You deserved it 80

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 6 June 2025, 03:00

Seriously?

Today, my husband got home on my birthday and told me he went overboard and bought a real expensive gift for his favourite girl. He then turned round and gave the real expensive gift to the girl in question, his 3 year-old niece. It’s not even her birthday. I got fuck all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556 You deserved it 120

1 comment Share