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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Bikes

    By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 19:21 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 58 299
    You deserved it 7 303
    Share  

    Rekt

    By Shaun - 16/06/2009 02:13 - United States

    Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 88 397
    You deserved it 6 178
    Share  

    Nature is harsh

    By fallsdownplenty45 - 02/06/2009 11:08 - Taiwan

    Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 72 966
    You deserved it 6 763
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Smartphone Money Thief Transportation Relatable Argument Love Mental health Bikes Cars Pranks Weird Awkward Spooky Christmas Family Kids Animals Cats Coffee Cute Health Clumsy Dogs Break-ups Coworkers Singing Work Bodyshaming
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying, "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 942
    You deserved it 6 009
    Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 12 197
    You deserved it 130 832
    Random FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 35 371
    You deserved it 3 684
    Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 43 503
    You deserved it 17 998
    Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 59 029
    You deserved it 12 262
    Today, I had been working at the checkout for over five hours. Slightly tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink. He smiled and winked back. When I finished work two hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 53 125
    You deserved it 4 169
    Today, I was at work, about to go to lunch. There were some girl scouts out front selling cookies. I told my manager that I would be using a different exit, and when he asked why, I told him that girl scouts really annoy the crap out of me. The girl scouts out front were his daughters. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 23 960
    You deserved it 64 545
    Today, I woke up to my father sobbing his eyes out in the kitchen. Apparently, I screamed, "DON'T TELL THEM I'M PREGNANT!" in my sleep last night. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 628
    You deserved it 346
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