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Stuck in a rut

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I’m at a water park with my kids and their two friends. We all just got back from vacation where I got to see my wife every day. Now she’s back at work, and I won’t see her during the day. I go back to work tomorrow. For now, I’m at this park, bored as fuck, and lonely as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 236

Winky

By XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX - 11/04/2025 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was going to have sex with a girl, but when I got my dick out she said, "You got a nice winky." Who the fuck calls a dick a winky unless they're in kindergarten? Felt like I brought home a toddler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 193

Did the rescue work?

By Hero of the day - 19/12/2025 00:00

Today, I tried a heroic rescue: a toddler’s teddy stuck on a fifth-floor balcony. I borrowed a ladder, climbed while sweating, reached it, and felt my trousers rip with a sound like Velcro in a thunderstorm. Dangling there with my superhero boxers exposed, three people filmed me while jeering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 94

WhatsApp news!

By Anonymous - 01/12/2025 09:00

Today, I bought a new smart scale that automatically broadcasts your weight to your fitness app. I didn’t realize it also shared updates with my gym group chat. They all got a notification titled, “Progress Report: Attempt #1.” It wasn’t progress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 165

Tired and emotional

By Tired mommy - 19/11/2025 00:00

Tonight, my 7-year-old begged me for a bedtime story. Ten minutes in, I was the one nodding off while he was wide awake. I fell asleep mid-sentence because he gently shook me and said, “Mom, you snore like a Grandpa.” Then he asked if I could “try again but stay awake this time.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 178

OK then…

By Renee - 25/01/2026 22:00

Today, I’m hard of hearing and rely partly on lip-reading. At a grocery store, the cashier asked me something I didn’t quite catch, so I smiled and nodded. Apparently, she had asked if I wanted to donate to a charity, so I ended up donating a couple of bucks to a cause I still don’t know the name of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 197

Sometimes, they just do

By Anonymous - 16/03/2025 03:00 - Netherlands

Today, my girlfriend told me she was leaving me for another man. Devastated, I asked what he had that I didn't. Apparently, "a big penis and a stable job" mean more to her than two years of love and dedication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 562

Occupational hasard

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 12:00

Today, while at work as a digital personal shopper at Walmart I was done picking, so I went to go put the cart away. I ended up hitting a coworker because she was crouched down cleaning something. I felt so bad and now I’m scared I’m going to get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 74

Stranded

By Yudith - 27/10/2025 00:00

Today, I am 9,958 miles away from home, it's 3 pm, and I have to find a store that sells electrical tape because my cats damaged my computer's charging cord back home. I just saw the copper inside the wire and I'm lucky the damn thing didn't catch fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 127

Namaste

By Old and tired - 01/02/2026 20:00

Today, finally joined a yoga class to “stay flexible” as a retiree. I followed along until we did a pose involving balance. I fell sideways into a stack of foam blocks and knocked over the instructor like gentle dominoes. Everyone was kind, but now I get assigned the chair automatically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 82

Let me in!

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 22:00

Today, I walked out of my apartment to take the trash out. The wind suddenly slammed the door shut behind me. The problem? I was only wearing boxers. My keys were inside, the trash bag ripped in my hands, and my neighbor’s dog barked at me like he had caught an intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 180

Slick

By Anonymous - 19/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a meeting with my team, and at the end, we were all excited about a new project. I tried to be casual and give one of my coworkers a high-five, but he didn’t see me and started walking away. I awkwardly high-fived myself while hoping anyone else didn't see me either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 119

Good or bad news?

By Bombaclotttt - 11/09/2025 09:00

Today, I decided I was gonna take a pregnancy test after being two months late. I bought two because I was sure it would give me a positive. That same night I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 98

The hunter's yowl

By Good job - 31/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my cat started screaming nonstop outside my bedroom. She's never done this since she was last in heat (she's 7 1/2 years old), so I was worried. I opened the door to find that she had "killed' a mouse (a fake one, formerly attached to her cat tree) and was very proud of herself. That's cute, but… really? FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 180

IT'S EVERYWHERE!!

By Anonymous - 25/06/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I spilled flour all over the floor and myself, and it took me eight billion years to clean up and there is still flour haunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 186

Kinda vague but oddly specific

By sheslayedgames - 11/04/2025 16:00 - United States - Powell

Today, you talked loud enough for me to hear you calling me the bad guy, while we’re in the same house. The walls are paper thin. After 19 years, I find out our friendship was a lie? That you used me just to make my parents happy? And I find out now, three weeks before I move out? This is beyond hurtful. I can’t take this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 153

The more you know

By SHUT UPPPPP - 14/09/2025 00:00

Today, my man learned that "boner" used to mean "mistake." Now he won't stop referring to every mistake someone makes as a "boner", laughing like a hyena every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 96

Oh, hi Mark!

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 15:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, a cute stranger waved at me on the street. I waved back enthusiastically, smiling like an idiot. Then I realized she was waving at her dog behind me. I then turned around and waved at the dog, then scurried home to bury my embarrassment in a pillow on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 129

Squeaking the day away

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 12:00

Today, I wore new shoes to work, which turned out to be the loudest shoes on the planet when walking on the office lino. Every step echoed like a cartoon villain entering a room. My coworker asked if I needed some WD-40. I still had six hours left to walk around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 93

Fishy

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend mentioned that he wants to get a vasectomy. I didn't give it much thought, until two things occurred to me. 1.) I have PCOS, and was told by multiple doctors that I can't have children. 2.) He almost never wants to have sex anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 80

Bad timing

By Trashed - 04/10/2025 22:00

Today, I'm getting ready to move and so I woke up early to get a bunch of trash to put out. For months our pickup has been so late, it usually happens the next day. Today they came at 6:30 AM, while I was in the bathroom. Nothing was put out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 161

Hair today, gone tomorrow

By JB. - 25/10/2025 12:00

Today, I've come to the realization that the only people to call me handsome are women above the age of 55, gay men, or women trying to get money from me and failing. I don't even get a compliment on a haircut after not cutting it for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 125

Puritanical

By Chipotle gurl - 27/01/2026 15:00

Today, my parents found out I was having sex because I was digging for something in my purse and I inadvertently pulled out some condoms. I was kicked out of their house, because if I’m “old enough to lay down with another man” I’m old enough to get my own place. I work at Chipotle part time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 168

Hey you

By Anonymous - 10/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a cute guy jogging towards me. I tried to look cool and gave him a smile. At that exact moment, my dog stopped to poop directly on my shoe. The guy jogged past without breaking stride and muttered, “Perfect timing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 124

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 00:00

Today, I was thinking again how I literally haven't had any real life friends for years. I know I don't interact with others much, especially recently, but why am I even ignored at school? Do I deserve this like people keep saying? I really like my online friends but why does everyone but me have someone IRL? FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 115

Motherly odor

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 15:00

Today, my daughter said, “Mommy, you’re my favorite person!” Then she added, “Because you smell like mac and cheese.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 117

Also great baby name suggestions

By unloved - 22/01/2026 22:00

Today, my boyfriend has trained my three cats to respond to "Fart Cat", "Little Shit", and "Lumpy Butt" as well as their actual names. I'd be less annoyed if all three didn't adore him and sit on his lap every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 113

Gamers will know

By Its painfully bad - 15/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife got bored and went into my collection of old PC games. She started playing Mass Effect and commented that she loved it and wanted to play all three. I don't know how to tell her that it ends worse than Game of Thrones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 89

Parklife!

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my dog to the park. He ran straight into a muddy pond, came back to shake himself off, and got mud all over my freshly cleaned white hoodie. A stranger passing by gave us a thumbs up and said, “Good boy!” I'm not sure who he was talking to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 208

It's gone woke

By Scrafty - 31/08/2025 18:00 - United States - Mount Airy

Today, they introduced a mega evolved form of my favorite Pokémon, but it looks like a Ku Klux Klan member. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 170

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick up a few things from the store for him while he was at work. After picking up everything he asked for, I wasn't left with much money so I used $50 from my account. When he got home he then grumbled about me spending all of "his" money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 878

You deserved it 1 041

Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 545

You deserved it 5 053

Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 694

Today, it's been a year since my divorce. My deadbeat bipolar ex-wife is on her third boyfriend. I'm raising both our kids solo and, despite trying, have not even been able to land a single date since we seperated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 124

Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 396

You deserved it 2 903

Today, I learned I don't have to spend Valentine's Day alone. My parents invited me along on their date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 605

You deserved it 2 014