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Choose your moments

By Anonymous - 02/03/2026 03:00

Today, my wife did the 'flash me naked' thing while I was on Zoom with my boss and three board members. She then got mad I didn’t immediately make an excuse to end the call because, hello, board members, and even when I was done she didn’t want sex anymore because clearly I value work more than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 63

Replaced by a clanker

By stop masturbating woman - 10/02/2026 15:00

Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 96

Lonesome tonight

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 20:00

Today, I joined a dating website for the first time in 12 years and spent an hour carefully crafting my profile. Ten minutes after posting, my sibling texted me screenshots. I’d linked my profile to Facebook, where my bio appeared under my real name for half my extended family. Aunt Linda left a heart reaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 259

Dipshit

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, some total dipshit at my workplace tripped over their own feet and split their knee open bad enough to need stitches, ruining our plant’s safety record and screwing us out of free pizza. The worst part is that the dipshit in question was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 428

Butterfingers

By Anonymous - 22/11/2025 12:00

Today, I sneezed so bad in public that I dropped my coffee, kicked it while trying to catch it, and watched it slide dramatically across the floor into someone’s shoe. They gasped like I'd committed a crime. I just whispered, “Sorry” and fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 156

New friend

By Rich - 26/04/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today. after I moved to a new area, I bumped into an old guy on crutches who asked me where the doctor's was. I wasn't sure, so Google Mapped it. I read the map wrong and sent him in the opposite direction. I've seen him twice since and I reckon if he could catch me, he'd kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 179

Nothing to see here, move along

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 22:00

Today, I rushed to work after spilling coffee on my shirt and thought I’d dried it enough. Under the office lights, it looked like a giant brown stain. Three people asked if I was OK. I spent the whole day hunched over my desk pretending nothing was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 98

So… about that…

By Anonymous - 17/09/2025 03:00

Today, the moment I had been fearing for the past few days arrived: my mom asked me if I knew what a groyper was. I don't know what's worse, that I know what they are, or that trying explain the concept is so convoluted, she now thinks I'm making shit up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 100

One lonely Stanley cup

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 10:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my kids refused to wake up on time, and I was at least 30-45 minutes late to work. Oh, and I forgot to bring my coffee to work. The travel thermos is still sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 347

Kinda mid

By Anonymous - 07/06/2025 18:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I don't know, I guess I'm just tired. Like everything I have done has been for nothing. Yet I can't seem to quit, it's like this is what I was meant for, to just suffer, I had absolutely nothing to do on a Thursday, All I do is go to the gym and come home, and just watch the paint dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 257

Stylish

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 12:00

Today, I wore my favorite light coat to brunch. Halfway in, someone bumped my arm and a long smear of lipstick appeared across the sleeve, matching the napkin I’d earlier used to dab my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 110

Good thing?

By Anonymous - 27/10/2025 12:00

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of eight years had cheated on me for the last two. It's been about three years since it happened and I now can't look up porn because it reminds me of the gut-wrenching feeling of this event. It's a good thing, but WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 100

Naughty boy

By Anonymous - 19/06/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have to wear glasses for the first time in my life and my husband won’t stop pestering me because I now look like a librarian, which gets his nerd engine revving like mad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m liking the affection, and who doesn’t want sex more often, but not 2-3 times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 217

Valentine is dead

By Anonymous - 17/02/2026 00:00

Today, for Valentine's Day, my husband spent all day promising me romance and a good dicking. Instead, his boss hit him with emergency overtime, our romance was defrosted lasagna, and he fell asleep during the dicking so I had to crawl out from under him and watch TV alone. I hate his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 66

The hero we need

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I saw someone get out of a car without putting it in park. I sprinted over and jumped in, trying to stop the car before it went down an incline. I didn't make it. I now have a dozen broken bones, need surgery, and was just informed I'm being held responsible for the wreck, since I was in it last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 463

Nope, no thanks

By Alone - 26/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, three members of my five-person polycule moved away, leaving myself and one other girl. I really liked her, so I was okay… until she split because she "didn't want to be in a boring straight relationship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 391

Fitness goals

By Anonymous - 07/09/2025 16:00 - United States - Warren

Today, under advice from my doctor that I should increase the intensity of my exercises in order to lose weight, I decided to increase the resistance level of the exercise bike I typically use by one, as I could do the previous level easily. My legs got sore after 5 minutes and then I got very sick, so I had to go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 116

Oddly specific turn off

By FatCoco - 07/07/2025 21:00 - United States

Today, my Tinder date ordered a separate check and said there won’t be a second date, all because I ordered my meal without vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 436

Bent out of shape

By Anonymous - 28/01/2026 22:00

Today, my stepmom noticed that I lean more to one side when I walk. I'd never noticed this. I've had right hip pain and both my parents agree this was to compensate for that. I've also been doing stretches for a few days but they haven't helped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 72

It's always the last place you'd expect

By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 12:00

Today, I was looking for a tiny little container I use to keep my medication dosages when I travel. I checked just about every place I could think of, so where did I finally find it? Behind the wide open closet door. It had fallen out of my travel bag, which I'd used last week, and rolled behind the tiny nook it made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 88

Kids say the darndest things

By Chrissy - 14/09/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 170

It's the thought that counts

By cakelady - 16/11/2025 12:00

Today, I spent two hours baking a chocolate cake for my coworker Cathy's birthday. I took it into the office, everyone gathered, and we sang. Her birthday is actually next week. The person whose birthday was today is named Kevin, and he’s allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 224

All shook up

By Anonymous - 08/12/2025 09:00

Today, my friend's brother is severely gorgeous. He is also off-limits because she isn't very fond of him. I also don't want her to think I'm using her to get with him because she's a newer friend and I didn't know she had a brother until I saw him, and I'd rather be her friend than his girlfriend… BUT HE'S BEAUTIFUL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 217

I don't owe you anything

By Anonymous - 24/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me for sex and when I said no, he asked me to leave. When I demanded to know why, he told me I had reached his limit: if I denied him sex for longer than 6 weeks in a row then clearly I’m not interested in an adult relationship, and need to get the hell out. Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 405

Self-confidence at an all-time low

By Cyanopica cyana, the One Jealous Urocissa Erythrorhyncha - 11/06/2025 04:00 - China - Zhangzhou

Today, I quit a group chat full of very talented people drawing, programming, creating game mods, and translating comics. I was invited because of my drawings, but I couldn't talk to them, nor could I show my talents because of the many talented people in there. I quit due to feeling inferior. I HATE my inferiority complex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 354

Don't believe the hype

By Long Ranged Missile... Detected! - 30/01/2026 15:00

Today, an officemate "invited" me to take a selfie with him with his "Brand new iPhone 17 Pro Max, fully paid in cash." And here I am, still lugging my now 7 year-old phone, which is stuck at Android 9, and I had to stick a power bank on the casing to keep the battery on life support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 116

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 00:00

Today, I got off my night shift late, slept for two hours, then went volunteering - playing piano in the atrium. I was sitting on no sleep so I started messing up a lot, then a patient started giving me death stares. I took my eyes off him, then looked at him again and he fell to the ground. Was the song that bad? FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 94

Red tape

By Bob - 06/12/2025 03:00

Today, after months of looking for a job I had and interview and the guy practically begged me to take the job. Now the staffing agency is railroading me with paperwork and bullshit, so odds are I won’t get the job. Back to Indeed I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 109

Saucy

By Anonymous - 31/01/2026 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed after a long stretch of abstinence, finally heating things up. I went to the wardrobe to grab the vibrator (I love using it on her) and slowly revealed it: mold-covered, an absolute biohazard. The night ended with me fixing a leak behind the wardrobe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 85

Better deal

By Anonymous - 11/05/2025 19:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my crush would rather travel to another country to meet with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 331

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 198

You deserved it 8 692

Today, my sister offered me a couple of doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 741

You deserved it 2 160

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 240

You deserved it 2 808

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 050

You deserved it 11 625

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 44

Today, I'm in hospital after having surgery for a broken leg. I’m maxed out on Endone and still in pain. Work have said that I’m on the roster next week and I’ll be fired if I’m not there. My wife said that she is going to have some "me time" for a few days when I get home from my "holiday". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 85