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Vacation breaker

By Mommys boy - 23/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, I joined an impromptu work video meeting from a family vacation but forgot to change my display name from “Mom’s iPad.” For the entire hour, everyone called me “Mom” and I didn’t understand why they were calling me that. Once I realized what was going on, it was too late, so I’m officially “Mom” at work now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 300

Cause for concern?

By Anonymous - 14/07/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom - Stourbridge

Today, I looked at the supplements my boyfriend puts in the protein shakes we both drink. To my horror, most of them listed "boosts libido" or "increased fertility" as benefits. When I confronted him, he said ,"So? I drink them too, it's not like I'm drugging you or something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 342

Unstable weather

By Anonymous - 08/02/2026 15:00

Today, as a giant crowd of people and I had walked across a parking lot, I yelled out to a friend waiting in their car for me, "I DIDN'T FALL THIS TIME!" (I always fall when it's winter) to then literally taking a single step to slip and slide what felt like 20 feet to someone yelling out, "AND SAFE!" like an umpire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 169

What up EWU Crew?

By mario - 30/12/2025 09:00

Today, the cops were called on our apartment because they heard angry yelling and loud screams. I was having a Mario Kart party with some friends over and we got too into the game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 193

2020 called…

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 22:00

Today, my dad went to urgent care because what all of us thought was a passing cold got worse. It wasn't a cold; it was that new vaccine-resistant flu variant, and neither he or I wore masks the day before when we had to go to my physical therapist. We were sitting right next to each other for at least 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 137

Bad boy

By naughty boy - 09/10/2025 20:00

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 110

Keeping it in the family

By Genny - 03/02/2026 12:00

Today, I learned that my brother is having sex with my aunt. Disgusted, I told my mom how wrong that is. She said, "Well, they're both adults, so we just kind of pretend it's not happening" and shrugged. We don't even live in the South, we live in a civilized city. This is so fucked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 114

Hold the line

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 273

Smooth moves

By Anonymous - 15/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, in a nightclub packed with people, I enthusiastically went in for a handshake with someone but they went for a fist bump. We both ended up doing the awkward “Pull back and retry” dance for a solid five seconds. I think I just lost all credibility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 174

Leaky

By Anonymous - 03/03/2026 20:00

Today, I decided I was tired of being fat so I started GLP-1. Today I also learned it can cause intractable diarrhea. Today I shit in an emesis bag in my car in a line at my kids' school, so now I’m fat and a shitty mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 176

Share, not scare

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, during a family dinner, my uncle asked if anyone had any embarrassing stories. Feeling brave, I told them about my recent breakup. As I was getting to the juicy details, my 11-year-old cousin piped up, saying, “You’re talking about the time you ate pizza naked, right?” My face was instantly beet red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 214

Change of plans

By Somebody fucking kill me! - 12/08/2025 05:00 - Mexico

Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 120

What's Charlie Sheen up to these days?

By Anonymous - 16/06/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother, a real Alan Harper-type of snivelling parasite, has been sleeping on my sofa for over a week since his girlfriend threw him out. If I kick him out, the guilt will eat me alive, but now my wife has informed me I’m never getting sex again until he’s gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 208

Long day, long ride home

By Jennette - 13/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 105

Have a holly, jolly Christmas

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tried to look for a copy of a CD that my mom wanted after Amazon lost it. For some reason, that specific CD can only be ordered online. None of the stores have it in stock and the one store I tried wouldn't allow me to use the "ship to store" option on their website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 73

One liner

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 15:00

Today, I opened a new can of shaving cream. The moment I touched the top, the whole can emptied into my palm, and startled the crap outta me. I'm a whole lot more sympathetic to my first girlfriend now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 126

Kinda impressive

By Dan the man - 08/11/2025 12:00

Today, during a job interview, the interviewer asked me to “describe a time I overcame a challenge.” My mind went blank. After 10 seconds of silence, I blurted out, “Once, I tried to cancel my gym membership.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 144

Having a bad day?

By Anonymous - 13/09/2025 22:00

Today, one of my dogs spilled half my coffee at home. My other dog drank the rest of it. Went to Starbucks later, picked my coffee up off the counter, and the lid popped off, spilling all over the counter, floor and my hand. While they were making me a new one, I dropped my sandwich on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 152

What are friends for?

By Anastasya - 14/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I asked my best male friend to help repair my car because it broke down. He responded, “Why don’t you ask the lovely guy you’re dating instead, since obviously he’s better than me?” Apparently he’s still upset I didn’t reciprocate his romantic feelings and chose someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 994

Custody battles

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 00:00

Today, my ex-wife has teamed up with my ex-girlfriend. Both are mentally ill. I have to have another custody fight and dispel lies because of their delusions. I just want to be left in peace. Instead, I have to have a death match for my 6 year-old daughter. Why does it have to be her or me? Why can’t it be both? FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 196

I have needs

By Anonymous - 15/10/2025 20:00

Today, it's been a few months since my wife and I have been intimate due to her health, so I have urges but out of respect I don't act on. However, while I was showering, I was scrubbing my dick and I immediately busted all over the shower curtain. I had a walk of shame to inform my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 192

Great first impression

By Chilled - 17/12/2025 22:00

Today, I met my partner’s parents wearing my favorite hoodie to look casual-cool. As I stood to shake hands, the hem caught on a chair and ripped in a loud, dramatic seam that sounded like a trumpet. Silence, then his Mom said, “She's a character!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 118

Strange metric

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 1 998

Revenge tastes good

By Anonymous - 13/09/2025 15:00

Today, I reported my ex-spouse for license suspension after he cheated on me. Not my problem anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 108

Save the Roland Jupiter-8, save the world

By Sara - 12/12/2025 09:00

Today, I was setting up my keyboard when the stand came loose. The keyboard started to fall, so I tried to save it, held it up in the air, and ended up falling off the stool onto the floor. I’ll feel that tomorrow, but at least the keyboard survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 85

Lonesome tonight

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 20:00

Today, I joined a dating website for the first time in 12 years and spent an hour carefully crafting my profile. Ten minutes after posting, my sibling texted me screenshots. I’d linked my profile to Facebook, where my bio appeared under my real name for half my extended family. Aunt Linda left a heart reaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 259

Dark times

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 00:00

Today, I watched as one of the few US governors willing to resist Donald Trump's ICE (aka Gestapo) rolled over and surrendered, letting the cops ransack protests with impunity. I feel sick. I tried to buy a gun but was denied because of mental health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 665

Nice but weird

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 09:00

Today, my boss sent a Christmas present… to my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 94

Dipshit

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, some total dipshit at my workplace tripped over their own feet and split their knee open bad enough to need stitches, ruining our plant’s safety record and screwing us out of free pizza. The worst part is that the dipshit in question was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 428

Butterfingers

By Anonymous - 22/11/2025 12:00

Today, I sneezed so bad in public that I dropped my coffee, kicked it while trying to catch it, and watched it slide dramatically across the floor into someone’s shoe. They gasped like I'd committed a crime. I just whispered, “Sorry” and fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 156

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend of over 16 years is getting married. I was supposed to be her Maid of Honor. Instead I was uninvited a few weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 98

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 141 067

Today, after working many 80+ hour weeks, a patient called to urgently come with their sick infant. Of course, I stayed late to help them. The baby had been constipated for a full 24 hours, and the parents had panicked. During the examination, the baby shat on my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 93

Today, my wife admitted she's upset with me because she can see I'm unhappy in our marriage. We've been married for over two months and we still haven't had penetrative sex because she's scared of the pain. I cook and care for the house alone (I work remotely), I make 6 times as much money as her, but she's mad I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 202

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 121

You deserved it 68 708

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 644

You deserved it 40 487