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Hi guys OP here! And I'm so excited as this is my first published FML! So I'm here to clarify some things! #1 - Yeap luckily I wasn't in the car at the time it happened but I did saw it from a distance. And many of you have asked for me to break up with him but I didn't as he did not commit a serious offence! He was rushing to the hospital as his Mother was ill and he was in such a state of panic that he didn't knew he was speeding so I apologise if it's confusing but at the time that I was posting This, I did not know about why he was speeding! Perhaps I should have said speeding away from the cops instead of running away! So I do hope it clarified any issues! Do continue to leave more comments and I will get back to you guys later! Thank you!

By Emmereen - 23/08/2016 02:21 - United States - Auburn

Today, I overheard two classmates wondering who Joan of Arc was. They agreed among themselves that she had to be the wife of Noah. We're in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 741

You deserved it 1 112

Emmereen tells us more.

Emmereen 29

Wednesday 24 August 2016 0:58

It didn't sound like they were, but I suppose I can give them the benefit of the doubt.

By Anonymous - 14/08/2016 06:16 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 358

You deserved it 1 844

Perfect timing!

By Savanerzz - 18/03/2018 01:30

Today my fiancé broke up with me. Two hours later, the store I bought my wedding dress from called to say it’s ready to be picked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 996

You deserved it 304

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 15:00

Today, I got back to my car with a note cussing me out for parking in a disabled space when I’m clearly not disabled. They also smashed my windows. It’s true, I’m not disabled, but I also wasn’t parked in a disabled space. I was parked in a normal space next to the disabled spaces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 191

You deserved it 229

By Anonymous - 24/05/2018 19:00

Today, after submitting a 500-word essay to a writing contest, I found out that I lost to someone who wrote 3 sentences. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 031

You deserved it 511

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 234

By avocadopurse - 09/07/2018 19:00

Today, I told my grandmother I was planning a trip to take my newborn son to meet his great-great-grandfather before it was too late. She had a guilty expression on her face. My great-grandfather died 4 months ago and my family forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 975

You deserved it 273

By hcditfi5foygy - 23/07/2018 19:04

Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 521

You deserved it 295

By angrypetowner - 29/03/2016 03:24 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I tried to train my cat to scratch the scratching post by giving her a treat every time she used it, but she took that as getting a treat every time she scratched something. Now, not only does she scratch all my furniture, but she also meows for a treat while doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 330

You deserved it 4 875

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 01:36 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was driving to work and I got a text from my girlfriend. She said she was breaking up with me. I was a little heartbroken, but I had to get on with my day. I got to work and my boss fired me. Turns out, my boss and girlfriend have been having an affair and she told him to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 763

You deserved it 1 617

By Thanks Trump - 08/03/2016 22:31 - United States - New York

Today, my mom parked in a handicapped space because, "the Spanish people are taking over everything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 361

You deserved it 1 567

By hardgraderorhardass - 24/02/2016 04:46 - United States - Bridgewater

Today, my English professor bragged to my entire class about how good my essay was. He kept on saying great things about it for the duration of class. To my surprise, he'd given me a C-. When I asked why, his only response was: "I'm a hard grader." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 816

You deserved it 1 541

By Eivana - 30/11/2018 12:00

Today, I finally got up the nerve to leave my boyfriend. We have no spark and quite honestly, it's been really awkward. I planned to tell him when he came in, and I did. After all was said and done, he handed me the roses and new puppy he had bought for me, a puppy that I had been saving up to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 237

You deserved it 1 338

By GodMemory_AbsentMind - 21/03/2017 18:00

Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 578

You deserved it 5 118

By IPicasso - 27/03/2017 00:00

Today, my brother sent me over a dozen screenshots from his phone, because he couldn't work out why it wasn't capturing all the paint he'd managed to smear on the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 421

You deserved it 279

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 838

You deserved it 3 666

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 275

You deserved it 390

By blonde moment - 23/06/2019 14:23

Today, while talking to a friend, I momentarily forgot the word for archery and instead called it, “Bow-and-Arrow Jutsu.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 602

Caught in 404p

By bgierczak2 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, my wallet was stolen from my purse at work. When I asked my boss to pull the security tape so we could identify the thief, he said, "I don't think I want to know who it is." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 817

You deserved it 1 783

By DrawingWaves - 27/09/2016 22:36 - United States - Woodland Hills

Today, my girlfriend tried to hook me up with a guy. It's the second time it happened since I met her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 584

You deserved it 1 598

By K_nightlight - 15/09/2016 00:20 - United States - River Falls

Today, I was babysitting two brothers, 3 and 5. As I was getting the youngest ready to go outside, the older boy, threw open the door, shucked his clothing, and ran off into the woods. I had to carry the 3-year-old as I ran my asthmatic ass after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 454

You deserved it 1 225

K_nightlight tells us more.

K_nightlight 19

Thursday 15 September 2016 16:23

Hi, OP here. I'm not gonna just tell you their names, so I hope you realize that 3 and 5 are their ages. And a leash would have been a very good thing to have for this kid. He's a wild little kid alright. Lucky for me his brother, the 3 year old, likes me so he doesnt do stuff like this. And yeah, I live way way up north, and their house is nestled in the woods so it's a struggle to keep them out of it.