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By an adorable devil - 21/03/2016 06:52 - United States - Houston

Today, my new bunny decided she is only going to eat carrots. If I put anything else in her food bowl, she viciously attacks the bowl until all of the food has spilled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 716

You deserved it 2 106

By Birthdaygirl30 - 26/09/2018 14:00 - Netherlands - Oegstgeest

Today, it's my 30th Birthday. The day started with me tripping in the shower and breaking my arm, continued with a car crashing into our car in the hospital parking, and ended with yet another car crash while finally driving home. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 980

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 16:39 - France - Issy-les-moulineaux

Today, I had a heart attack. At the hospital, the doctor compared my heart to a stressed out 60 year-old's heart. I'm 17 and I don't even have a job yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 237

You deserved it 1 949

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 08:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 996

You deserved it 2 860

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 22:00

Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my soon-to-be ex-husband's baby from the moment we agreed to have sex one last time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 731

You deserved it 9 234

By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 17:04 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I found out my brother doesn't have a problem with "keeping it in the family". It's now up to me to explain why our cousin is pregnant with his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 187

You deserved it 180

"Hey, where the white women at?"

By Steven, Customer Service - 17/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Dover Plains

Today, I took a call from a man who said his dating apps are connecting him with "black and oriental women" when he only wants white women. I spent 47 minutes on the phone with this customer trying to explain that I am only an AT&T Service Rep and have no control over any dating apps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 888

You deserved it 457

By anon - 17/12/2015 18:45

Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 647

You deserved it 1 655

By Anonymous - 13/03/2019 12:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I asked a table at a restaurant if there's anything I could get out of their way and they replied, "Yeah, you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 247

You deserved it 245

By Anonymous - 22/03/2017 17:00 - United States - Troy

Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 377

You deserved it 1 695

By Anonymous - 19/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 265

By Anonymous - 05/05/2017 21:00 - Colombia

Today I returned home after three months of vacation. None of my friends had even realized I had left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 326

You deserved it 591

By sniffmyzebra - 20/10/2015 19:46 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, my blind date tried to sell me a vacuum. I bought it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 949

You deserved it 8 296

sniffmyzebra tells us more.

sniffmyzebra 14

Wednesday 21 October 2015 22:37

Can't believe this was published! OP here, as some you said, the date really did suck. But my brand new vacuum sucks even more! Did I do it right? I'll leave.

By Anonymous - 30/05/2017 22:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, I saw a dead ant. It made me think about how brief and fragile life is, why we're all here, and whether it has a point. It was a piece of lint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 563

You deserved it 884

By Invisible - 15/06/2017 22:00

Today, I realized how little my husband, son and I mean to my in-laws. We were somehow left off the distribution list for my sister-in-law's birthday party. I even texted her to wish her well. It wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't the fifth consecutive family event we were left out of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 347

Noise annoys

By Typicalwhitechick - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I finally have a day to go to the library and read for hours. Today is also a playday event for toddlers. In the library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 366

You deserved it 638

One day, maybe…

By PairOfSocks - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Finland - Tampere

Today, one of my friends bought a wedding dress for her upcoming wedding. My other friend intends to propose to her boyfriend, and ordered rings. I too made a purchase: a pair of socks for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 437

You deserved it 1 397

By James - 20/08/2017 16:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my mates and I decided to get inked. I chose a chest tattoo of my last name, Coch. I'll let you guess what it looked like when I was finally able to inspect the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942

You deserved it 4 480

By BroadwayBaby1997 - 17/09/2016 15:26 - United States - Mission

Today, I've had more crushes on fictional characters than actual people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 423

You deserved it 2 602

GGs

By deerslayer559 - 27/09/2017 23:14

Today, while playing golf, I hit my ball near some tall grass along the edge of the water. Unbeknownst to me, there was an alligator hiding in the grass. He growled at me during my shot, causing me to put the ball directly into the pond. Alligator: 1 Me: 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 787

You deserved it 457

Too much TV rots your brain (so they say)

By Itstheapocalypse - 26/11/2017 19:00

Today, while performing a therapeutic massage, I dropped my clients head, shuddered, and jumped away. Why? I watch too much Walking Dead and when I lifted her head to stretch her neck, her soft breathing sounded like a zombie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 3 143

Doggy dog world

By NotSoFunnyNow - 27/11/2017 15:00

Today, I tried to get a funny reaction from my dogs with a fart, like I saw in a YouTube video. I shat my pants and the dogs didn't even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 4 019

By abygalee - 10/07/2016 20:42 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom hadn't talked to me for 5 days, so worried sick I called my grandpa. She's been in jail, and no one cared to inform me. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 029

You deserved it 723

By AverageAvarice - 07/07/2016 20:09 - United States

Today, after 22 hours running around the hospital, I found some time to sit still and have a sandwich. My attending physician walked by and commented that I must not have enough work to do. The same person who 12 hours ago said finding time to eat was a skill, since I was eating on the go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 674

You deserved it 652

AverageAvarice tells us more.

AverageAvarice 23

Sunday 10 July 2016 1:17

Hey this is OP, I know a lot of people are not familiar with the hours residents must work. I work an 80 hour week. 12-24 hour shifts 4-5 days a week. I must take a break every 16 hours but it's usually every 12. I have a locker with blankets, clothes etc. I sleep in the doctor's lounge and shower in the locker room. I'm on 24 hour call for the ER this month and since anything can happen at anytime I'm constantly being called for something while on break (when ever I'm eating). It's really not bad once you get used to it, I can sometimes squeeze in a couple hours of sleep at the end of a twelve hour period, do some studying then clock back in. Adrenaline wakes me up in serious situations. My attending physician is a nice person but really brutal with their assigned work-load. I must work long hours so I can observe the full conditions of the patients assigned to me.