Nearly FMLs

By Tully - 12/09/2018 05:41

Today, I found out I have an STD. I have been loyal to my boyfriend of 2.5 years. When I confronted him, he admitted he had been sleeping with prostitutes and having one night stands from online dating sites. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 7

By No, its NOT! - 11/09/2018 21:26

Today, in the bank I am working for, I had to tell and explain to yet another caller that: YES, the banks are open Today, and NO, 9-11 is not a holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 2

By ApparentlyNotMyName - 11/09/2018 20:38

Today is the third time in two weeks I have had to go to the school's main office to correct my name. I followed the proper procedures for name changes regarding to transgender students before applying, and yet my old name was still called out in class for all to hear. At a trans inclusive school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 31

By Not an excuse - 11/09/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that I have to have my wisdom teeth removed. The appointment for the surgery is in the middle of this week, but none of my professors believe me. I have been given the same "lame excuse to get out of school" lecture five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 308

By sage - 11/09/2018 13:59

Today, I found more porn on my boyfriend's history. I will make one thing clear is that I don’t have an issue with porn, but my boyfriend will wake up right before I do and rub one out while I am waiting on our bed to have sex. Don’t think I can’t take anymore sexual rejection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 7

By Fuckeverything - 11/09/2018 13:51

Today I found out that my girlfriend cheated on me and that the guy gave her and therefor me chlamydia, now everytime I go to the bathroom I´m reminded about it and cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 3

By Kenneth Schulz - 11/09/2018 04:25 - Canada - Regina

Today, after 3.5 years of a faithful relationship, I find out the woman I wanted to be the mother of my children is cheating on me, lying to my face, and fell out of love with me months ago. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 5

By "Lonnell" - 11/09/2018 09:33

Today, I found my "girlfriend" is actually a lesbian, that has been cheating on me with other females for a while now. She also told me she tested positive for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 4

By Amex - 11/09/2018 03:19

Today, went to court. My last apartment sued me. They favored them. With court fees and the overall charge I ended up paying over $6,000. My roommate didn’t have to pay anything even though he skipped out on court. No eviction. No damage. No Notice. Paid by my college fund and my education FML.

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 12

By Bighuff - 10/09/2018 23:25 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I finally slept with the guy I like. And boy slept, I mean, he passed out 2 minutes after laying on top of me and I stayed up all night due to his ridiculously loud snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 5

By SpaceWitch - 10/09/2018 22:00

Today, my financially-struggling boyfriend found a $100 bill on the ground. He has not paid for a date since 2013. Today, it's also my birthday. He spent the money on takeout. For himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 937

You deserved it 947

By disappointed femme - 10/09/2018 18:27

Today, I realized that I have more fun with my detachable shower head than actual sex with my husband. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 10/09/2018 14:49

Today I helped a woman back out her car from a crowded parking lot in front of a bakery. Then I tripped over nothing, sprained my ankle, busted my knee, the women I helped take one quick look at me and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 6

By "cathugger" - 10/09/2018 13:33 - Israel

Today, after a night of severe stomach cramps due to food poisoning, I woke up to a huge cockroach sitting right on top of my blanket. What a nice way to begin the new day. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 5

By Hopeless - 09/09/2018 23:11

Today, after 2 months of texting and falling for the man of my dreams who has been so busy we haven't met. He has decided he was too busy to date and we live too far apart. We live 20 minutes apart. . . He has a dinner date with a girl he just met for tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 5

By family sucks - 09/09/2018 23:06

Today, I cleaned the house from top to bottom for my brother’s visit. He informed me at the last minute that he’s going to a homeless shelter instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 4

By Hoomin - 09/09/2018 10:06 - United States - San Antonio

Today, a young girl asked me if I wanted to play ‘doctor’. I agreed, and she used a small, wood hammer and smacked me, really hard, on my hands and legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 19

By Anonymous - 09/09/2018 15:00

Today, the employees of my store went on strike, demanding a "living wage" of $15 an hour and accused me of being a "leech on the work force". My profit margins are so thin that I pay myself around $20 a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 020

You deserved it 595

By Linipanini - 09/09/2018 09:01 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because my ex boyfriend of 5 years wanted to say goodbye to my dying grandmother. He didn't even come to show he cared himself.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 4

By i need mouthwash - 08/09/2018 23:43 - United States

Today I was giving my husband a blow job to get him ready for sex. He had just come from the bathroom. He still had pee on him and I found this out when I put him in my mouth... FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 20

By youngandumb - 09/09/2018 05:10

Today, I realized I have destroyed my finances to give the woman I love, and was going to marry, a life she totally deserves..... until I found out she is working as an escort behind my back, making 4 times my salary...... FML.

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 09/09/2018 00:09

Today, I learned my boyfriend of almost a year is not only married which he lied about the whole time, but he was also cheating on me with someone new and lied about her as well. I gave up everything for him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 19

By Shelly - 07/09/2018 22:28 - United States - Hood River

Today I went to the doctor. I was diagnosed with face dandruff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 7

By Tgodj - 08/09/2018 03:10

Today I was riding my bike home from the pool, I started riding down this hill and all of a sudden my towel jammed in the front tire and I flew over the handle bars cutting my penis open on the handlebars. ? I left my bike and had to walk home with blood dripping down my legs.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 8

By JustfknDONE - 07/09/2018 19:20

Today I thought I would get to go home and relax with my partner of 10 years and get ready to celebrate my birthday. Only, he decided to leave me out of the blue for another woman. Guess that he has been cheating on me with her for a month now, but wanted to wait to leave me until my birthday.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 07/09/2018 06:02

Today, I moved out of my parents house to leave an abusive household only to not be able to afford all my bills so I might have to move home. Again. The cycle repeats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 5

By Take me with you bro! - 07/09/2018 09:53 - Philippines - Pasay City

Today, my boss told me to convince the guy she fired about a month ago to come back, even if I have to grovel shamelessly. The guy was a friend of mine who hates our boss' guts. Worse, he got a new god-sent dream job now, which not only pays him about 10 folds, gave him a house and car in Japan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 06/09/2018 17:46 - United States - Carson

Today, I experienced the irony of having floss stuck in between my teeth, not really encouraging for somebody who's recently incorporated it into their daily lifestyle. Not to mention all the blood and pain that came with trying to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 7

By ungratefulbrat - 06/09/2018 18:55

Today, after my dad called me unappreciative behind my back for wanting to sell a bike he bought me 6 years ago, which I used almost daily, but no longer need, I reminded him that I planned to give him the money I made for the bike. He said I could keep half of it. What does he want from me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 3

By James - 06/09/2018 07:45

Today, while riding the bus from school this freshmen hit me on the head with her school calendar. Being from the UK, my Britfuck descent decided to come out as I yelled "Bloody Hell!" as a reaction. The bus driver yelled at me for cursing whilst the girl and her friends laughed their asses off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 9

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The Top

Today, I was spending time with my affectionate pet rabbit. He was hanging out with me on my bed as usual. After I finished giving him a long and thorough head rub, he thanked me by emptying his bladder on my leg. What is that, marking me as his property? True affection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 271

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 573

You deserved it 66 804

Today, while directing traffic in uniform, I tripped over a traffic cone and fell straight on my butt in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 728

You deserved it 1 320

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 180

Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 132

Today, I was at a party. A friend and I went to the bathroom together. She finished, I started to go, realising I need to shit. She was still in the room. People began to knock. My brain told me to snap the shit in half… with my hand. I grabbed the toilet paper with said hand, leaving the bathroom covered in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 1 222