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TMI

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 03:00

Today, my son has been talking strangely all day so I asked if he was OK. He told me he gave his girlfriend oral for the first time and while trying to “get her there” he went at it so hard, he got tongue cramp, and it still hurts so it’s making him talk weird. As a mom, TMI son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 90

Keep me out of this

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 22:00

Today, I found out I can't go to Los Angeles to visit my grandparents for spring break like I'd planned because my asshole dad got some sort of court order preventing me from leaving the state. He and my mom are in a custody battle over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 74

You believed him??

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 12:00

Today, I learned that my ex-boyfriend didn't cheat on me with my ex-best friend like he said. He just wanted an excuse to break up. To make matters worse, when I tried to talk to her, she slapped me and gave me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 229

Cutthroat

By Glume - 05/04/2025 17:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my boss asked that I add the work of our third coworker's position to my shift because he's never finished his duties. She gave us a 50 cent raise to "babysit" a 60-ish year-old man. I responded to respectfully fire him or pay me 20/hr. His last day is Friday and he doesn't even know yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 167

Party pooped

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, it was my Sweet Sixteen. Only two of my friends showed up, and they spent the whole night texting their boyfriends. After several failed attempts to do something fun or even get them to talk to me, I got up and left the room, and didn't come back. They didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 99

Bon appétit, boys

By Anonymous - 14/04/2025 20:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 138

Special interests

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 798

You deserved it 3 664

The truth is out there

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband is upset because somewhere out there, on a long forgotten social media site, is a picture of me mooning my geography teacher's house. He doesn’t like that my ass is on the internet. It’s a 30 year-old pic, out of focus, taken on a damn flip phone, and you can’t even see my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 152

Pest control

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I went to empty a mousetrap, only to discover that SOMETHING had eaten the dead mouse's brain and eyeballs. I reset the trap, only to find a half-dead mouse struggling to get out an hour later. My office is like its own tiny little horror movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 92

Switch 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 08/06/2025 21:00

Today, I found my boyfriend playing games when we have 5 million things to do, but the bastard picked me up, put me in the hall, shut the door in my face, and barricaded it with the sofa. I texted him, threatening to break up unless he opened the door; he texted back to leave my key behind when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 691

Enjoy what you enjoy

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 599

Lost it

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to an escape room on a date. I was convinced I’d be the puzzle-solving hero, so I sprinted ahead… straight into a low-hanging laser sensor that set off alarms and locked every door. We had to be rescued by staff, and my date still hasn’t talked to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 681

Ragebait backfire

By Melybae - 12/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I’ve been systematically sharing stories and posts about how love sucks and man-bashing memes so that my crush would regret his decision about rejecting me and choosing another girl over me. He DM’ed me : “Getting tired of your shit Melissa, I’m blocking you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 1 323

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while on a video call, I went on a long rant about how I hate mandatory morning meetings and how pointless they are. I thought I was muted. I wasn’t. My boss replied with, “Noted. You can take the rest of the day off. Indefinitely.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 792

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 11:00 - United States

Today, I found out my “friend” runs several incredibly racist and homophobic Christian nationalist social media blogs. That’s really funny considering that I, a black woman, have been in a relationship with her AND her husband for nearly five years now and wasn’t told any of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 191

The shape of you

By KLO65 - 17/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I told my gym trainer I’d do anything to get in shape. He challenged me to run a mile without stopping. I agreed, then got winded halfway through and dramatically collapsed on the track. A 70 year-oldish woman jogged past me and said, “You’ll live.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 447

Whisky dick

By Anonymous - 18/08/2025 21:00 - United States - Northfield

Today, my wife was finally in the mood after 150+ attempts to seduce her and I was drunk to keep it up. Now she's upset and thinks I'm not attracted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 161

Classic been there, done that

By Anonymous - 20/08/2025 14:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, in a state of severe depression and fearing I might do the worst, I called my local suicide helpline. I was put on hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 93

Nice to know

By rejectedson - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 008

You deserved it 2 331

Bad doggo

By babyboomerang - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 254

You deserved it 6 837

Taste test

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 20:00

Today, I noticed my boyfriend tasted different than normal so he got a doctor's appointment, which is where he discovered he has a yeast infection under his foreskin. Yuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 124

Big Grandma

By fmylifechelsea - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was taking my boyfriend to meet my grandparents. They live on the 27th floor. Alone in the elevator we started making out. Turns out that there's a camera in the elevator, connected to every apartment. My grandma asked me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 329

You deserved it 19 812

You guys…

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 03:00

Today, I had to rush home from work to help my parents, who are both wheelchair users, because they were having sex and fell between the bed and the wall. With both of them unable to walk, they were stuck there, so the first thing I saw walking into their room was mom's bum hole staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 69

Odd interaction

By mochiix03 - 13/11/2025 00:00

Today, a Tinder guy asked me if I had a full-body picture since I only have headshots. Being ashamed of my body, I told him my rear camera was broken, so only the front-facing camera worked. He asked me if I could see my toes when I looked down. Without thinking, I looked down and said, "No." He unmatched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 462

Lovely

By Zorro - 14/11/2025 20:00

Today, I told my mom I was feeling depressed and needed motivation. She hugged me and said, “Honey, you just need to get out there and find someone who loves you for who you are.” Then she added, “...but maybe lose the mustache first.” I’m her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 139

Rough night

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 00:00

Today, I went to bed early, proud of myself for being responsible. However, I lay there wide awake replaying every awkward moment from the past ten years, including things no one else can possibly remember. I checked the clock at 3:47 AM and had to wake up at 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 97

Heartwarming

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 15:00

Today, I had to break the news to my husband that I had miscarried our first child, to which he replied, "Thank God!" and told me he wanted a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 97

Whatsapp group chat woes

By Anonymous - 12/01/2026 09:00

Today, I reacted at a group text joke that had already moved on three hours earlier. Everyone had stopped responding. My “HAHAHA” sat there alone like a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 187

Bonkers inlaws

By Anonymous - 02/02/2026 15:00

Today, my husband and I returned from a much needed weekend away. I found out that during that time, his weird ass parents tried to force our daughter to do one of those creepy virginity pledges, complete with a “purity” ring ceremony. She’s literally 9 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 64

Get tested

By Anonymous - 11/02/2026 12:00

Today, I found out my ex was sleeping around with others without a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 56

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'd been lonely for a while when I finally met a girl that is genuinely brilliant. She's all huggy, clingy and likes me back. Turns out she's a lesbian, so we can't be anything more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 200

Today, I politely asked my friend if she would repay me the £20 she owes me. She shouted at me, called me an insensitive bitch, and refuses to pay me back as apparently she can't afford to. Her holiday to Italy next week begs to differ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 307

You deserved it 3 748

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 319

You deserved it 5 919

Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 801

You deserved it 3 220

Today, I'm babysitting two 6 year old kids. One of them won't stop screaming, and the other kid found his mom's vibrator and won't stop playing spaceship with it. The parents will be home in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 503

You deserved it 5 488

Today, I found out the hard way that you shouldn't try to open a can of paint with a screwdriver. The lid flew off, and my kitchen floor now looks like an abstract art painting, which I could probably call, "Various blue splodges on wood canvas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 601