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Nightmare fuel

By TheHezzer - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered the hard way that all the scare stories I'd heard about rats getting into pipes and finding their way into your toilet are, in fact, true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 023

You deserved it 2 393

Unprofessional

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 20:00

Today, I found out that my doctor got mad I was prescribed Suboxone. Why? He had me in patches and pills when I wanted neither. I found relief and he took it as an issue, but this morning he wrote, "I know you're a druggie" in my file. I've never touched street drugs, and the cherry on top was, "You homeless yet?" A DOCTOR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 88

Health hazard

By Anonymous - 12/11/2025 12:00

Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 83

OK then…

By Anonymous - 16/11/2025 00:00

Today, in a grocery store, the cashier asked if we found everything OK. Before I could answer, my kid said, “Mom says the shop smells like poor people.” I don’t even remember saying that, but judging by the cashier’s face it must be a family business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 438

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By Satan’s child - 19/11/2025 15:00

Today, my parents tried to stage an intervention for me. Drugs? No. Alcohol? Nope. Gambling? Nah ah. They wanted to intervene on behalf of my soul since I decided I no longer believe in their religion. I had to threaten to call the cops when the escalated to attempt a forced exorcism on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 85

Stolen valor!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 03:00

Today, I told my crush I’d bring homemade cookies. The batch burned so badly the smoke alarm screamed. In desperation, I bought store cookies, put them on a tray, and claimed them as mine. My crush said, “These taste store-bought.” I panicked and confessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 403

Twerking is for special occasions

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 15:00

Today, I literally had to say the words, “Please stop twerking” to my niece. She’s seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 68

Not in the mood

By prettybich - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I'm severely hungover. Upon returning home, I came to find that both of the elevators were out of order. I live on the 12th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 414

You deserved it 36 719

Doomerism

By Karmen - 01/01/2026 03:00

Today, I learned that my country has canceled all our offshore wind farms, putting the fight against the climate crisis back probably fifty years. When I told my husband, he said, "Good, we don't want to be the beached whale capital of the world". THE CLIMATE CRISIS, PEOPLE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 398

Resolutions come and go

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 12:00

Today, I tried a new workout class as part of my New Year's resolution to get fit. The instructor said, “Don’t worry, we’ll start easy.” Twenty minutes in, I was flat on the floor while everyone else continued effortlessly. When the instructor asked if I was OK, I gave a thumbs-up, but I haven’t been able to sit down since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 109

Triggered

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 09:00

Today, I added a new trigger for my debilitating migraines: presentations shown on projectors - BAM; went to the movies - BAM; went to a concert - BAM BAM BAM. Apparently big screens trigger them now, in addition to sleep or meal disruption, hormones or stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 58

Helper

By Anonymous - 02/02/2026 00:00

Today, a customer asked if we sold gift cards, and I confidently walked them to the rack... that had probably been empty for weeks. I stood there too long pretending to “look” while the customer waited politely. Eventually I said something dumb like, “We used to believe in them.” FM

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 338

Silver linings, eh?

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next four hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 274

You deserved it 3 523

Bad timing?

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 00:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 83

Lost in music

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 00:00

Today, I was listening to music with headphones in my usually quiet class. At one point I really got into the song so I just quietly sang along because why not. Turns out by the end of the song I was singing at full volume, almost yelling, and my friend stopped me to say that. The entire back row was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 565

Acting up

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 15:00

Today, I was passed over for a promotion for a role that I was acting in for a year because I'm not "qualified" for it. But I have to train the person who got the role on how to do the role that I am "not qualified for." The fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 41

Time to unionize

By Anonymous - 31/03/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when our boss told us he was giving himself the same raise as everyone else was getting, we thought he was finally being a decent human being. Nope. He meant it literally. His raise to himself is the same amount as the other 12 employees' raises combined. His raise is 12x what ours is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 76

Out of the frying pan into another frying pan

By Rizuki_Tsurai - 02/04/2025 06:00 - Philippines - Addition Hills

Today, after I got fired from my job last year because I couldn't handle the pressure of being under a PIP by a company who wants to underhandedly cut off employees, I got a new job. My new boss keeps hounding me about my performance and I feel like she doesn't like me. I live alone, have no savings and I can't afford being fired again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 125

Doing my part

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 08:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I didn't feel like cooking when I got home from work, so I decided to go to the local restaurant nearby and do my part in supporting small businesses. Long story short, I woke up later feeling like absolute shit. Hello, food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 94

Sir…

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was at a restaurant with some friends, trying to be cultured by ordering in French. I confidently said to the waiter, “Je voudrais le poulet, s'il vous plaît.” The waiter stared at me and said, “Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 853

Let 'em loose

By Anonymous - 07/05/2025 09:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I sat next to my crush in class in a very loose, low-hanging shirt in the front (my mother had made me wear it, I didn't want to), and I felt so giddy because he kept staring at me in shock. No, not because I'm so beautiful, but because my boobs were hanging out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 415

Never engage with crazy

By Anonymous - 18/05/2025 15:00 - China

Today, I encountered a madman who threw a bottle at me and hurt me. In a fit of rage, I beat him up, and as a result I was taken to the police station, and ordered to pay compensation for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 357

Doesn't everyone do this?

By Anonymous - 20/05/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out why my boyfriend takes so long in the bathroom. Apparently he has a system for shitting he’s very OCD about: he has to be naked in case poo touches any of his clothes, he has to wipe stood up with one leg elevated, and the whole process takes 10x longer than it should. FFS! FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 128

Isn't this, like, a crime?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend blows weed smoke at me while I sleep. I don’t smoke. Then he turns off the Ring camera in the middle of the night and cheats on me with men that he finds on Grindr. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 165

Dude, gross!

By Darkness Inside - 13/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my dad learned that I sometimes waffle stomp in the shower if I wake up late. He built a shower stall outside and has threatened to kick me out if he ever finds me showering inside again. I get that it's kinda gross but this is a massive overreaction. What will I do in winter? FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 1 420

That'll do

By Anonymous - 17/06/2025 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, while my best friend's dad was dying, I raced to get her brother who I had never met. I had no idea how to make him feel better so I gave him a plastic glow-in-the-dark duck. I gave a grown man a trinket to try to make him feel better about his father dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 156

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 14:00 - United States - Altoona

Today, after my girlfriend had said she was cooking surprise dinner for me this week, the crazy thing is I came home early from work and the surprise dinner was she was eating some dude's cock and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 120

Messed up

By Anonymous - 26/06/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my therapist told me she can’t see me by herself anymore because frankly I have so many problems, I need separate therapists, each with their own specialties, to work together on me as a team. I didn’t think it was that bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 114

Impressive indeed

By Chad - 28/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to impress someone by doing pull-ups. I got halfway up, froze, and then slowly slipped down like a dying horse. It felt like the whole park had stopped to watch. I tried to laugh it off, but I’m pretty sure they’re still talking about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 425

Grumpy face

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 21:00

Today, my daughter confidently told me that I’m not allowed to ignore her when she’s sulking on purpose. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Clearly this child has spent too long listening to my ex-wife and her coven of brain-dead cackling witches, AKA her mother and aunties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 158

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The Top

Today, I was about to climb on top of my husband for some fun time, when I stuck my hand in a giant pile of cat poop on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 289

Today, I was notified that my work is cutting my pay almost in half. I just renewed my long-term lease on an expensive apartment because I was able to afford it before this morning. Now I have no idea how I’m going to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 239

Today, and for months, my upstairs neighbor has been stomping on their floors, hard enough to shake our walls. We thought it was their child, but found out it’s the mother. She took up running, and due to the pandemic, she does it in the living room. She's already been told to stop. Repeatedly. I work 12-hour nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 864

You deserved it 144

Today, I lost my dog while hiking. After searching the trails for an hour and a half, he was by the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 475

You deserved it 8 565

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 496

You deserved it 54 280

Today, I mentioned to my parents that Sunday is going to be awesome because it's Christmas. They responded with "Wait, this Sunday? In 3 days?!" Apparently they forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 464

You deserved it 729