The Top

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Reality is weirder than fiction

By Broken Arm - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that while it is unlikely you'll break your arm by catching it in the door, it is perfectly possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 133

Gig etiquette

By lekijkerd - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Leusden

Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 762

You deserved it 32 898

Rough patch

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 478

You deserved it 2 894

Rough deal

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I constantly hear single moms being bashed trashed and judged no matter their situation. I just got dumped again for being one. No one seems to know or care that I’m a single mom, because my daughter’s conception wasn’t what you’d call consensual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 101

Happy birthday to you

By Anonymous - 22/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 64

Stone the crows

By Anonymous - 03/05/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum used her spare key to get into my flat and stole almost all my food. She claimed she did it for my health because I’m "getting a bit chubby." I weigh 12 stone while she weighs over 20, plus all my food was in her kitchen, except for the already empty packets in her bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 88

Gotcha good

By Anonymous - 08/05/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 179

The mailman

By fuckfuck - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Fort Smith

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering mail, I was yelled at by a guy, who threatened to shoot me if I "trespassed" on his property. He made me toss his mail toward his porch from the street, before telling me to get lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 886

You deserved it 3 423

All alone

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 11:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I have no friends because I have severe anxiety and severe social anxiety. I thought I had family but as it turns out, my family is trying to get rid of me by sending me away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 132

Boo!

By Today - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, in my school's rugby grand final, I had to take a penalty kick to win the game. Possibly the easiest kick I've taken all year. I stuff it up, and it completely missed. A crowd of 2000 people laughed, and later booed me off the field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 487

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 07/10/2025 00:00

Today, my daughter has spent the last few hours moaning that the boy she’s known since they were 4 years-old got a girlfriend instead of asking her out. She’s known him for almost 20 years. If she liked him all that time, she should have asked him out herself instead of moaning at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 107

Song sung blue

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Houston

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 981

You deserved it 3 729

Pushed it too far

By It was clean at least - 17/12/2025 20:00

Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 146

Not for everyone

By Ugh - 07/04/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my girlfriend wanted to role-play non-consensual sex. I was already uncomfortable with the idea, and when she started begging, "No, no" as I stripped her, I dropped the role-play and walked out. Now she's pissed at me. I'm sorry, but this is fucking creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 187

Bad romance

By Carloly - 13/04/2025 21:00 - United States

Today, a guy I’ve been dating for a while surprised me with tickets to see my favorite singer, Lady Gaga, for my birthday. I was about to tell him I can’t see him anymore because I fell for someone else at work, and it wouldn’t be fair to string him along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 575

Wrong time, same place

By Anonymous - 19/04/2025 15:30 - India

Today, I printed 500 event posters with the wrong venue because I copied from last year’s file. Client needs them by tomorrow. Now I’m pulling an all-nighter reprinting everything. Coffee is my only friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 679

Bad dude

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 16:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I found out that my ex (he's 35) tried soliciting sex from one of my friend's daughters (she's 22) and a few other friends as well. To make it all worse, I just found out this fuckboy has herpes, and contracted it while cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 130

Thanks, appreciate it!

By witt75 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was overdrawn $15 at the bank. I paid in my last $80 in cash, only for them to inform me that I've been slapped with $90 in overdraft fees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 126

You deserved it 6 342

Extra protein

By ReluctantAntEater - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 310

You deserved it 3 623

BFFs

By annoyedgirl - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Ephrata

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 862

You deserved it 4 805

Roomies

By merrymary - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 169

You deserved it 6 148

Suspicious activities

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was going home with the tomato plant I just bought in my cup holder. The smell of it was filling the car and I love the smell so I picked it up and took a wiff. A few moments later I got pulled over. Apparantly, the cop saw me sniff it and thought I was smelling a marijuana plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 894

You deserved it 8 586

Thanks, I hate it

By Heretique - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Norway

Today, we had to evaluate each other in class. Apparently I'm a quarrelsome, uncommitted, commanding bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 643

You deserved it 35 725

Not a sponsored post

By Ew - 10/11/2025 15:00

Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 350

The truth

By unfortunate - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 484

You deserved it 3 246

Puritanical

By Chipotle gurl - 27/01/2026 15:00

Today, my parents found out I was having sex because I was digging for something in my purse and I inadvertently pulled out some condoms. I was kicked out of their house, because if I’m “old enough to lay down with another man” I’m old enough to get my own place. I work at Chipotle part time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 170

Not a bio major

By Podcast bros must be stopped! - 31/01/2026 03:00

Today, I had a client argue that he shouldn’t have to pay the full amount of court ordered child support because the kids aren’t “fully his”. He swears that when a woman has multiple partners, trace amounts of DNA are left in the womb, creating kids with several fathers. Yes he was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 70

It's not what you think

By dazedandconfused - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 849

You deserved it 3 891

Step-dad no more

By Anonymous - 07/03/2026 20:00

Today, my wife of 9 years told me she wants a divorce all because I refuse to legally adopt her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 509

Goldfinger

By itzcorinnelove - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking my aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out, the bag had a small unnoticeable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didn't realize it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 445

You deserved it 12 812

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, ever since he got out of jail, my brother thinks it's hilarious to use the skills other inmates taught him to break into my house, setting up pranks, or watching tv and waiting for me to get home. It's mostly harmless, but it is still majorly pissing me off. Should I call the cops if he continues? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 141

Today, my 97 year-old grandmother told me that if I’m not married and pregnant by the time she goes, I’ll be completely excluded from her will. She went on to say how shameful it is for a woman my age to be single, choosing college over a family. I’m 21 and studying to be an oncologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 695

You deserved it 128

Today, it's been a week since my mom left me at my auntie's, she just called to tell me she took a job abroad. I think I’m an abandoned orphan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 94

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 558

You deserved it 12 518

Today, I flew cross-country to see my girlfriend of three years. Once I got there, she broke up with me. I was supposed to be staying for a month and now I have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 526

You deserved it 191

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 46