The Top

I had no idea she was doing this! My mom blamed me for not watching her closer. I thought she would know better since she's 14. Were both grounded though.

By Ihavealisp - 16/02/2011 02:32 - United States

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 702

You deserved it 7 059

Plans shelved

By Anonymous - 29/07/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 357

You deserved it 4 265

This is America

By Anonymous - 25/06/2020 08:08

Today, I found out a test I need to see if I need surgery on my gallbladder costs more than my pay check, even with insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 128

Double trouble

By idiot - 28/06/2020 08:07

Today, I was sitting on my bike texting when someone snatched my phone and ran. Like an idiot, I jumped off my bike and ran after him. He then ran in a big circle, got on my bike and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 1 689

By DD: - 19/02/2015 20:45 - United States - Denver

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 182

You deserved it 3 960

By RupeeLink - 27/07/2009 23:33 - United Kingdom

Today, to cheer my girlfriend up after her mother died a week ago, I took her to a comedy club. The comedian's theme for the night happened to be mother-daughter relationships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 746

You deserved it 8 006

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 672

You deserved it 15 454

By black_commet08 - 10/02/2010 05:11 - France

Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 802

You deserved it 4 891

How do magnets work?

By batman - 04/07/2020 02:02

Today, I found out I was qualified to go to a magnet school. My mom threw the papers away, claiming she thinks I shouldn't be with "rich and snobby" people. She grew up as a rich snob and has a fortune waiting for her when her parents die, and she brags about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 106

By hclagopus - 14/11/2012 11:39 - Norway

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 523

You deserved it 30 891

hclagopus tells us more.

hclagopus 7

Thursday 15 November 2012 10:36

OP here. I did not try to pick her up - I am a 42 year old married father of three and even if I wanted a date I have enough knowledge of the world to know that hot twentysomething blondes prefer hot twentysomething hunks - but I did try to make her smile, and failed miserably. And my geek level is so low that I read paper papers and constantly need my twelve year old son to help with my Iphone. (Plus I`ve never seen the sequels) I realize the girl probably lacked humour more than Star Wars knowledge, but what the heck. My wife laughed her ass off when I told her, though, bless her.