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Thanks for the support and encouragement everyone, it's nice to know that I wasn't totally degraded for something that's been extremely frustrating. I'm very lucky the currently have a full time job (A supervisory position, at 24, as a woman!). And for those wondering, my field is business administration. i have a Bachelor's degree and plenty of legitimate work experience, just not experience that is directly related to what they want. so *whoosh* in the trash goes my resume!

Oh no oh no

By jealouspussy - 20/02/2013 06:55 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 571

You deserved it 6 006

Rolled

By shushingmoon - 18/09/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 962

You deserved it 53 705

By minauto - 27/02/2014 23:58 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 891

You deserved it 3 154

minauto tells us more.

minauto 15

Friday 28 February 2014 13:38

This actually happened to my boyfriend but he posted it from my account since he doesn't own a smartphone himself. he pulled his engine from his car to work on it (he's an auto tech student) and had been without a car for a few days. luckily he was planning on getting a new ignition, he wasn't however planning on replacing a perfectly good window... but thanks for all the comments guys, i'll be sure to let him know about all the support!

Misunderstanding

By almostmugged - 17/09/2009 05:00 - United States

Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 060

You deserved it 55 304

By Whatdididowrong? - 10/05/2011 05:18

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 379

You deserved it 12 372

By greenblue90 - 14/06/2010 13:50 - United States

Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 850

You deserved it 4 256

By fuck you right back, cockspit - 14/02/2014 21:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 689

You deserved it 8 328

By Anonymous - 08/02/2013 00:28 - Canada - Hagersville

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 433

You deserved it 56 010

Welcome back

By pixie_pix13 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I came back to work after being out for a week. As I walked to the back of the store, I threw my hands up and yelled, "I'm back bitches". Right after I said it, I noticed my boss was behind me. I was then taken to the office and wrote up for foul language on my first day back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 3 453

By crazygirl10 - 28/05/2010 20:37 - United States

Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 546

You deserved it 33 149

Summer's here and the time is right…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 18:30

Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 183

By tigerisabelle - 06/02/2014 03:39

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 378

You deserved it 14 747

tigerisabelle tells us more.

tigerisabelle 31

Thursday 6 February 2014 17:50

Hey guys, OP here. I did not know how damaging Flappy Bird was to the brain until my friend convinced me to play it, and it's been a downhill road ever since. I literally smashed into the first pipe 40 times in a row, and got more frustrated every time. So I'm supposed to count to ten when I'm feeling "irrational rage" but instead, I just pressed start. (oops...) I threw my phone through a window. The phone is shockingly okay, except it still has Flappy Satan. Yeah, that game is straight from the depths of hell.

By TwistedCherub1 - 01/02/2014 22:42 - United States

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 285

You deserved it 4 388

TwistedCherub1 tells us more.

TwistedCherub1 15

Monday 3 February 2014 16:14

To answer a few questions: 1. I did make it to the bathroom. 2. Cameras are everywhere in a prison, see from all angles, and have incredible resolution. 3. From my post I have to go through a door which requires pushing a button, identifying myself to master control and waiting for them to release the lock. Then two crash gates where the operator can see me through the glass, then two more doors like the first. That's if I'm in the D-space and not the day room doing rounds, which would involve two more doors. No two doors in any corridor can be open at the same time, so I have to wait for each to close before the next can open.

Asshole Design

By thehaystackerine - 01/03/2020 12:00

Today, I bought a slice of pizza at my favorite gas station. Upon opening the box, I found that the lone piece of pepperoni visible through the window on the box was in fact the only piece on the whole slice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 314

By thegirlofthedad - 29/01/2013 09:48 - India - Mumbai

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 698

You deserved it 2 814

Noped out of there

By Anonymous - 24/09/2022 11:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and teen daughter are at the point where their monthly cycles have synced, so when I got home and heard them screaming at each other, I quietly closed the door so they couldn’t hear me, and like a coward I hid in my car until the screaming stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 233

By Whothrewhim - 22/02/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 903

You deserved it 10 911

Whothrewhim tells us more.

Whothrewhim 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 7:12

Damn, You guys are harsh. I am 20 so not technically old enough to drink, I am from the North, Asshole, and it was a legitimate accident, not involving power tools, or due to the alcohol, it just simply was not a smart decision to drink. Also, I was home from college. ******* A.