The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By juniorleo - 03/12/2015 20:23 - United States - Riverside

Today, I was told that the cutoff date for dropping out of one of my classes was last Friday. Which would have been fine if the school website had the right information when I checked it last Friday. They're ignoring my screenshots proving as such. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 607

You deserved it 1 527

juniorleo tells us more.

juniorleo 5

Saturday 5 December 2015 3:26

OP here. I know that screenshots aren't very good evidence, but it was basically all I had (since the website had been updated since). I'm on a quarter system so there's not enough time to go with a lot of your ideas, though I appreciate you guys trying. Oh, and I did go to my parents. Not for help, since I did everything possible before I called them about it, but they didn't believe me either. （´・ω・｀） Shit just sucks sometimes.

Quality family time

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 13:47 - United States - Kenosha

Today, my deadbeat dad threatened to press charges against me for harassment if I ever contact him again. I've contacted him twice in the last two years, once to tell him he was going to be a grandfather, and once to send him a birthday card from my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 770

You deserved it 1 841

By No Nip - 25/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 487

Pissed

By whoops - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 857

You deserved it 2 531

By smh - 03/11/2015 20:04 - United States - Beulah

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend of two years asked me out on a date was because I accidentally flashed him when we met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 442

You deserved it 3 032

Cheeky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say, "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 100

You deserved it 3 220

Which side are you on?

By FMyCountry - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, during a football match, the referee declared a goal as invalid. The dad of the kid who scored didn't agree, which led to an all-out fight among all the kids' parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 167

You deserved it 312

Assumptions

By FreeTacos_ - 28/10/2015 05:23 - United States - Pueblo

Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 554

You deserved it 2 735

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 582

You deserved it 15 234

By NotThePotty - 19/10/2015 10:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, according to daycare, my son is behind in his potty training curriculum because we are not "celebrating his natural bodily functions" enough. He turned 2 a week ago, and he peed on our bed last night because we're trying to meet this demand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 531

You deserved it 3 015

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 632

You deserved it 5 201

All true, obviously

By Anonymous - 29/05/2019 02:00

Today, I found out that my mother-in-law thinks that Trump is the "best man to walk the earth since Jesus," and that he's "fighting the deep state who's in control of the fake news." She tried to indoctrinate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 680

In training

By anonymous - 16/11/2009 06:00 - Japan

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him, "Where did you go to the potty?" He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 287

You deserved it 4 077

Free Britney!

By SirTalkaton - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Vacaville

Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 222

You deserved it 17 475

SirTalkaton tells us more.

SirTalkaton 22

Monday 4 August 2014 6:48

Ok OP here, here's the deal. I have no problem singing Britney. I like music that's that. But my brother thought it would be hilarious to overwrite my presentation with that. As far as why I was recording, well I lost a bet and keep my word. However, it was not Oops I did It Again it was Man Eater. Class got a good kick out of it for sure.

Fashion influencer

By children ain't pawns - 21/11/2016 15:23 - Australia - Perth

Today, after discussing having our son's hair styled nicely for school, my ex returned him with his head shaved. I didn't realise bald was in style for 4-year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 961

You deserved it 998

By CanadianEH - 08/11/2016 23:39

Today, my dog ate my underwear. This is the twenty-seventh pair that he has eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 652

You deserved it 3 247

By connorcaffery - 18/09/2015 21:24 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, my girlfriend told me she has decided to become a stay-at-home mom for our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 280

You deserved it 2 889

connorcaffery tells us more.

connorcaffery 9

Sunday 20 September 2015 0:55

A little background info. I've been with my girlfriend for four years- She is not the type to make me work while she does shit all. We did have a long talk about this. She is just very stressed out as she is not here for 3 days out of the week because she makes a 2 hour commute to and from university every week and when she is here she works. She is just stressed and tired and feeling guilty about not spending enough time with our dog pepsi. She is not lazy, and certainly not a bitch just struggling keeping up with all aspects of her life right now. Thanks to all the nice and supportive comments we both appreciate them. :)

Code red

By Zooep - 24/10/2016 13:54

Today, I had to prepare for my big meeting tomorrow morning. Before going to bed, I washed my face. Unfortunately, the towel I wiped myself with turned out to house our red ant infestation. My face looks like a ripe tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 756

You deserved it 800

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 381

You deserved it 120 553

By Sad_homeowners - 20/10/2016 15:45 - United States - Pierre

Today, I'm still not living in the house I fought so hard to buy three months ago. As I was fixing a hole in the wall, I found black mold covering the back side of my drywall. On every wall. I can't afford to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 335

You deserved it 1 438

I'm not going out there

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - York

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 348

You deserved it 4 103

By couldntholdit - 12/07/2011 17:09 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 388

You deserved it 23 976

By KillerChipmunk - 10/10/2016 23:54 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I called maintenance for the fifth time about our sink, which leaks as much water from under the handle as comes out the spout. Apparently, they'd rather come up and tighten it every week than replace the washer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 871

You deserved it 771

KillerChipmunk tells us more.

KillerChipmunk 15

Friday 14 October 2016 21:30

Hey, OP here! First published post! I hadn't actually told them that I think it's the washer yet, next time I complain, I'm going to let them know. If they still don't fix it properly, I'm going to tell them I'll to do it myself. I've done some simple plumbing fixes like that before, so I don't think it'll be too hard or long a process. The main problem with fixing it myself is I'm in college and it's essentially an off campus dorm room (owned by the school, which kind of helps explain the quick fix mentality), and I don't have any tools here.