The Top

WOW I didn't expect to get published haha. But I do think it's ****** up, and my parents ended up agreeing. My cat was an indoor cat and has always hated going outside, especially because she was allergic to grass/something outside so I know she didn't just...run out the door or whatever. I'm not saying that they did it on purpose, because it's possible she was in the car for the vet or something and got out/they didn't notice? I don't know. I was completely heart broken and still am, I grew up with this cat and was having a rough time when I came home and looking forward to seeing her. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the..remains, but I definitely dont want to keep my stuffed cat...I think I'm going to bury her when I get the chance. My parents haven't stopped apologising, but it still sucks to have this happen.

By Bogrbon - 03/06/2016 19:18 - United States - West Lafayette

Today, I went in for a root canal. After a heavy dose of anesthetic, my tooth still wasn't numb, which I only realized when they started drilling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 611

You deserved it 1 625

Bogrbon tells us more.

Bogrbon 27

Tuesday 7 June 2016 6:47

OP here. They did stop pretty quick, after it started hurting, before it got too bad. Anesthetic tolerance runs in the family (and no, I don't use any drugs). They edited the fact that since it had been having issues getting numb, they'd already given me the maximum safe dose of anesthetic for the day, so I had to reschedule for the next available appointment 3 weeks out, and get a temporary filling and prescription for Vicodin (which would make me sick and keep me from safely working) to tide me over. Long story short, my tooth is not only better, it's worse, and I am still waiting, (If you've ever needed a root canal you know the pain.) so the pain at the endodontist's was all for nothing.

By Sad bitch - 18/06/2018 19:00

Today, I realized why my lavender products were no longer helping me calm down. I use lavender so much when I'm anxious that I've associated the smell with anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 538

You deserved it 725

She's got it going on!

By Heartbroken - 08/08/2018 07:00 - United States

Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 466

You deserved it 242

By Alin - 13/09/2018 14:30

Today, I slept alone again in bed. After travelling 15000 km across the world to be with my long-distance husband, he has refused to kiss or hug me in the week I've been here. I never thought I would be in a sexless marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 708

You deserved it 427

By Anonymous - 04/02/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 031

You deserved it 7 447

Sophie's choice

By Anonymous - 26/09/2018 23:00 - United States - Perrysburg

Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 007

You deserved it 227

By Anonymous - 04/02/2016 22:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 094

You deserved it 5 023

By Anonymous - 13/01/2017 18:00

Today, I had to suspend a student. Apparently, someone convinced him that he turned invisible. He walked into the girls locker room thinking he could not be seen. I work at a high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 726

You deserved it 604

Close

By Anonymous - 10/12/2018 22:00

Today I had a narrow escape with a nailgun that nailed my workboot to the floor but luckily missed my foot. After I calmed down and changed boots I returned to the nailgun, started working again and barely 30 seconds later I managed to nail my thumb to a piece of wood. Man, I'm bad at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 459

You deserved it 1 290

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 638

You deserved it 2 710

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 09:06 - United States - Pomona

Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 971

You deserved it 3 738

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 4 637

Unnerved

By Greenskies - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - France - Corneilla-del-vercol

Today, I was talking to my boss at the end of an awesome internship. He said he was really satisfied with my work, and that he had considered hiring me. Turns out he decided not to because I smile too much, and it freaks him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 004

You deserved it 2 014

He can run, but he can't hide

By Depressedegg - 08/03/2017 18:00

Today, my toddler realised that my pregnancy means I can't move easily anymore. He celebrated his freedom by doing everything he's not allowed to, and staying just outside my reach at all times. He loves his new game, and it looks like he's not going to stop anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 712

You deserved it 840

By Anonymous - 16/03/2017 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had a lovely dinner date. Our waitress was really sweet, so we talked about leaving her a big tip. When we got home, we discovered we both thought the other person had left it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 293

You deserved it 1 713

By nonymous human subject - 14/11/2015 20:02 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 573

You deserved it 7 887

By 4lphab3t4 - 13/11/2015 01:11 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I yawned so hard that I dislocated my jaw completely, then had to ask to be excused from class in front of 30 people with my mouth hanging open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 780

You deserved it 1 969

I can't stand leg puns! tells us more.

I can't stand leg puns! 22

Saturday 14 November 2015 16:45

Op here. Well folks, after an interesting chat with a Doc, turns out I don't have TMJ or EDS. I just eat way to much ******* chewing gum, and, after so much, my jaw was slightly moved out of place. So when I yawned, it fell out of place completely, thus the dislocation. FML again, I guess

By Anonymous - 11/11/2015 12:18

Today, I woke up at 7, got to college by 7:40 to receive an email that my 8:00 a.m. class got cancelled. I stayed there until 12:00 p.m. for my second class, to then find out that the cancelled class was the one at 12:00, not 8:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 794

You deserved it 5 894