Work: I just work here

I just work here

By fishingforubies2 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Aruba - Oranjestad

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 189

You deserved it 1 866

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

Risky business

By PleaseCalmDownThisIsALibrary - 30/06/2023 16:00 - United States - Columbia

Today, I'm just a simple librarian. Last week, we had to call the cops on two separate aggressive patrons. Today, I had to call the cops yet again. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 95

It wasn't me

By weliveanddie14 - 07/05/2009 20:27 - United States

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 945

You deserved it 15 687

By alwaysxgettingxshitxon - 03/07/2009 00:18 - United States

Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 247

You deserved it 2 952

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 12:00

Today, while volunteering at my local library, a guy who smelled like crap followed me around all day. Every time I would bend over to shelf a book, he would start grunting. Apparently, he's going to be at the library every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 969

You deserved it 112

Throw the book at him

By Jen - 30/04/2019 20:00

Today, I got fired from my job at a library for hitting an old man with a book. In my defence, I had asked him about a massive water stain on a book he'd returned. He told me it was his cum, wanted to know if it excited me and then tried to touch my boobs. Dirty old pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 265

You deserved it 284

By rubgy_lover - 27/06/2013 15:02 - Canada - Surrey

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 134

You deserved it 3 927

Getting some action

By hugadyle - 18/04/2020 14:00

Today, I took a trip to the library's public computer section to get some important work done. After a bit of work, I went to stretch only to see that the man next to me was watching some adult films on his computer and discreetly touching himself. I still had 58 minutes of computer time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 187

My short hair!

By Trama1201 - 04/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 803

You deserved it 337

Freakout

By LoLWut?? nd Why?? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 742

You deserved it 48 210

By FallCameEarly - 27/02/2014 06:21 - United States - Alhambra

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 139

You deserved it 3 888

Welshite 39

Saturday 25 July 2015 1:25

Gives a whole new meaning to the term "book worm".

wheresmymary 22

Saturday 25 July 2015 1:25

He was just trying to keep your first day interesting

Comments

XtremeHeat 14

Saturday 25 July 2015 5:58

Even worse: Tammy works there.

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 25 July 2015 6:03

I think he mistook "I ******* love books" to mean "I love ******* books"

Dexter83_fml 17

Saturday 25 July 2015 6:25

That sucks op I guess the books are pre-loved

dirtbikeguy 14

Saturday 25 July 2015 6:46

sounds like a sticky situation

samlovesham1234 9

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:36

If it was one from the Children or Teens section, I'd be even more grossed out.

Zmanzem4 17

Saturday 25 July 2015 8:55

Was the book Fifty Shades of Grey?

xluciferx666 21

Saturday 25 July 2015 9:25

the old library snug and tug a classic

joshi42 16

Saturday 25 July 2015 10:05

Did you at least slam this book shut on his ****?

PhinIt2WinIt 24

Tuesday 28 July 2015 14:32

I doubt anyone would want to go near the "intense reader"

Silk_Routes 14

Saturday 25 July 2015 10:06

book worm

DedeleMan 21

Saturday 25 July 2015 10:30

what's wrong with people these days?

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The Top

Today, I went on a movie date. During the movie, I picked a small zit on my forehead. Afterwards, at dinner, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of my face. I thought he was staring lovingly at me. He was actually staring at a large throbbing zit with a trail of blood coming from it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 582

You deserved it 65 233

Today, my husband finally was ready to have sex, even though he feels it's a bit weird because I'm pregnant. Due to morning sickness, I threw up all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 432

You deserved it 300

Today, my boyfriend is 34 years-old. We’ve been together for 5 years. He refuses to propose to me because “marriage is expensive” and “kids drain your wallet.” That would be understandable if he hasn’t spent the majority of his paychecks on March Madness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 375

Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 522

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 897

You deserved it 9 652

Today, I had an unexpected sneezing fit and drove my car through 2 trees and a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 256