Nearly FMLs

By turtlelover93 - 20/06/2016 10:48 - United States - Fpo

Today, I found out that someone in Canada has my card info and had been using it for a few weeks. How did I find this out, my card got declined at the ATM. Turns out they spent over $80 in just pizza and hamburgers alone today. And then took out about $60 after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 66

By Anonymous - 20/06/2016 03:55 - United States - Biloxi

Today, at college orientation, it started to rain suddenly. Several people in my group from other areas of the country freaked out. I said "Welcome to the South," jokingly referencing our fickle weather. I was called a racist. My whole group was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 56

By Kaylz - 20/06/2016 03:10 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boss decided that he is taking the whole company on a 4 day team building retreat over Christmas. Anyone who doesn't show wont get their Christmas bonus. Now I get to decided on whether i spend Christmas with my kids or get my Christmas bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 47

By Hooey - 20/06/2016 01:44

Today, my parents grounded me from anything remotely fun. How come? Because I got a 100% on my math test and my parents don't think I could have actually done that well on a math test. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 48

By WhatADream - 20/06/2016 01:28 - United States - Vernal

Today, as I was running out all of the orders, dropping everything needed in the fryer, putting everything in the oven, and packing orders. My boss turned to me and said, "My grandma packs faster than you, she's dead and has never worked in fast food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 53

By fmleveryday - 19/06/2016 23:27 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I came home from college which is a 6 hour flight to surprise my parents. They had gotten a new dog while I was gone. I've wanted a dog ever since I was 5 but they said we couldn't get one because both of my parents were allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 44

By phoneless - 19/06/2016 21:00

Today, I was sitting in a café when I dropped my phone. After ages searching the floor for it, I realised it had dropped into the lady behind me's bag. She looked terrifying, so I thought I'd wait until she went to the bathroom. She never did, and I ended watching her walk out, with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 785

You deserved it 22 628

By JesusFucknChrist - 19/06/2016 20:44 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, I've given my father-in-law a gift I've spent over 50$ on. After a long conversation about himself while I stood in the front doorway of his apartment, he shut the door in my face after telling me, "Well, thanks." without even opening the gifts I wrapped nicely just for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 41

By daninofanny - 19/06/2016 20:10 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, i went to see my grandpa for Father's Day. He noticed a hickey on my neck and asked if the vacuum got me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 59

By SoTiredofThis - 19/06/2016 14:27 - Canada

Today, my soon to be ex husband of 22 years turned down my offer to spend the day with our 4 kids on Father's Day. Looks like he'll spend the day working on his half-his-age girlfriend's daddy issues instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 77

By Dream Girl - 19/06/2016 14:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I met and fell in love with the girl of my dreams, and I know I'm never going to see her again and confess my feelings because I woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 98

By TisButAScratch - 19/06/2016 13:24 - United States - Ossining

Today, my birthday began with a very considerate "Get off your lazy ass and do something for once in your life you lazy fuck!" from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 74

By goldendarkness - 19/06/2016 04:37 - United States - Kenner

Today, while changing in to a swimsuit in my friends room, I noticed that the door doesn't lock. I figured it would be no big deal since people usually knock before entering a room and didn't worry about it. Her dad decided to walk in without knocking first. I was completely naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 93

By slothstronaught - 19/06/2016 04:23 - United States - Schofield

Today, I found out my meth head of an uncle is moving in. I was warned to not keep any money in the house. I moved back home because of my old meth head of a roommate and similar problems, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 37

By Anonymous - 19/06/2016 03:38 - United States - Toccoa

Today, as I was telling people to please not pet the llama, said llama spit on the side of my face. Not only was the smell so rancid that I gagged every time the wind blew from my left to right, but chunks also got lodged in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 28

By :( - 19/06/2016 03:34 - United States - Lincoln

Today, my boyfriend of two years and my fiancé for 6 months, kicked me out of my apartment. He invited another girl to stay with him that night. Turns out, he was cheating behind my back the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 50

By brittsters - 19/06/2016 03:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend took a bunch of muscle relaxants mixed with pain killers for an injury he obtained at work. He then decided to sleep it off and when he woke up hours later he said "My pants are wet. I must have sweat everything out" I don't have the guts to tell him he actually peed himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 55

By Theater_Chef_3 - 19/06/2016 03:17 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, while working the slides at the water park I work at, I had a man scream at me because I was making him follow the rules. According to him he shouldn't have to follow the rules since he's older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 32

By Ashly123456789 - 19/06/2016 02:58 - United States - Kingman

Today, I got sick and started my period. My boyfriend walked in the bathroom just in time to see me cry, shit, puke, and pee at the same time. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 56

By cosmothedog - 19/06/2016 02:45 - United States

Today, an 11 year old girl asked me how old I am. When I told her, she said, "Oh, I thought you were 12." I'm 17. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 79

By goldendarkness - 19/06/2016 02:29 - United States

Today, I woke up and opened my phone to find that I texted my ex in the middle of night. He had texted me first, so I must've woken up and texted him back when half-asleep. My text? "I miss cuddles." FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 68

By Backtosquare1 - 19/06/2016 01:46 - United States - Royal Oak

Today, my car was broken into and my backpack was stolen. Luckily, my laptop wasn't in there. No, the only thing in there was all my notes for class. Finals are in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 35

By anonymous - 19/06/2016 01:25 - United States - Inverness

Today, I caught my 29 year old husband screwing my 18 year old sister. The only thing either of them had to say to me after I finished tearfully screaming at them was that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 24

By Stairio69 - 19/06/2016 00:42 - United States - Odenton

Today, I used the phrase "It smells like something died in here". Something did. My cat Jasmine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 29

By GamerGuy55 - 18/06/2016 21:47 - United States - Williamson

Today, I woke up ready to face the world. That was until I looked down and saw my thighs covered in crap. Turns out my cat left me a gift under the covers and I slept in it without even noticing. What a great way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 39

By Sucker - 18/06/2016 20:56 - United States - Phoenix

Today, while trying to search for a recipe on my fiance's phone a hookup website popped up in his recent web pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 26

By pacelily - 18/06/2016 09:24 - United States - Irving

Today, I realized how bad our scorpion problem is when I was woken up to a scorpion stinging me in a very sensitive down stairs area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 91

By smokeduck115 - 18/06/2016 08:34 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I ordered ham and cheese sandwich. it would have tasted good if the cheese wasn't covered in plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 77

By StaySafePayAttention - 18/06/2016 07:53 - United States - Rome

Today, after talking with my boyfriend about how I don't like driving because I feel like most drivers aren't cautious enough, I was rear-ended by 17-year-old who was texting while driving. Immediately after I was nearly struck by a woman who ran a red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 63

By Anonymous - 18/06/2016 07:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't get out of bed all day or spend any time with me and our baby because he was to tired from hanging out the night before, but he could go to his ex wife's house to see her and her family at 1 am. She just got dumped by her boyfriend and needs a place to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 52

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 830

You deserved it 7 561

Today, my boss fired me because I look like her ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 869

You deserved it 2 501

Today, for the sixteenth day in a row, my husband slept in the guest room because he doesn't want to disturb the dogs once they've fallen asleep on our bed, so they don't hate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 132

You deserved it 1 293

Today, our old internet provider withdrew over $1,000 from our account for equipment they acknowledged receiving weeks ago, using preauthorized debit they claimed to have cancelled. Reimbursement will take 4 to 8 weeks. Our first mortgage payment is due just hours before my next pay cheque. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 696

You deserved it 412

Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 484

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's spider-infested shed where I refused to set foot, where he is constantly fixing the mower, bikes, or his car, is actually just a sound recording of power tools he plays so I won’t go down and disturb him. He has a TV, an Xbox, and a fridge in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 622