Love

By sirradel - 19/08/2013 23:15 - United States

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 021

You deserved it 37 589

sirradel tells us more.

sirradel 14

Thursday 22 August 2013 0:42

OP here guys! Just for your information, I'm a woman and my spouse is a man.

I'm happy for you, but…

By Love stinks - 19/08/2013 13:06 - United States

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 624

You deserved it 4 770

Relatable

By Having a pretty sister sucks. - 19/08/2013 01:36 - United States - College Station

Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 448

You deserved it 4 322

By WartCream - 18/08/2013 00:27 - United States - Olathe

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 672

You deserved it 4 847

Get out

By why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" - 17/08/2013 22:40 - Netherlands - Oosterwolde

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 741

You deserved it 4 277

Will you…

By why - 17/08/2013 14:18 - United States - Lexington

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 580

You deserved it 7 400

By love-shot - 17/08/2013 08:24 - United States - Hays

Today, I discovered that when my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervous I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassed I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 052

You deserved it 7 861

By that's methed up, darling - 16/08/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 903

You deserved it 6 098

By ZeroLuck - 16/08/2013 02:32 - United States - Miami

Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 084

You deserved it 8 954

Dude, what are you doing?

By deadman - 16/08/2013 01:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 705

You deserved it 30 267

By Rachel8896 - 15/08/2013 11:28 - United States - Lakewood

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 112

You deserved it 3 425

Betrayal

By sisterly love - 14/08/2013 21:13 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 232

You deserved it 4 167

By Zanovitch - 13/08/2013 20:19 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 099

You deserved it 4 280

First and last date

By hairless by death - 13/08/2013 16:07 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 310

You deserved it 4 244

By really? - 13/08/2013 06:58 - United States

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 673

You deserved it 6 748

Good night

By iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles - 12/08/2013 14:30 - United States - Mabank

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 453

You deserved it 4 451

By WTF? - 12/08/2013 04:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 379

You deserved it 6 561

By DandoisFLAT - 12/08/2013 02:42 - United States - Milford

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 115

You deserved it 3 296

DandoisFLAT tells us more.

DandoisFLAT 10

Monday 12 August 2013 19:43

Hey, just wanted to inform everyone that yes, she is obviously my ex-girlfriend now and that i'm feeling fine. I was actually out skateboarding with some friends when i got the texts from her, and once i showed them, they made me feel a lot better. We were actually dating for a year and almost two months, but i never thought she would end it like that. So between my friends and the support from you guys i realized that i deserved better then her and i'll be more careful next time in choosing a partner. Thanks guys :)

Gaslighting

By -__- - 11/08/2013 16:26 - Greece - Athens

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering, "You want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 013

You deserved it 5 742

Thanks for the support!

By selfesteemloss - 10/08/2013 23:41 - Spain - Barcelona

Today, I was flirting with a cute bartender on my last day in Spain. It was going well until we somehow got onto the topic of how I was recently dumped by my boyfriend of 3 years via Facebook. He spent the next 5 minutes laughing and telling his coworkers how hilarious that was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 286

You deserved it 9 003

By fml - 10/08/2013 10:48 - United States - Perry

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 656

You deserved it 12 277

By Anonymous - 09/08/2013 14:54 - France

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 738

You deserved it 4 954

By Anonymous - 08/08/2013 21:18 - United States

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled, "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 820

You deserved it 3 792

By Anonymous - 08/08/2013 20:20 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 050

You deserved it 5 051

By names suck and so do I - 08/08/2013 12:54 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 223

You deserved it 10 163

By Anonymous - 07/08/2013 15:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 925

You deserved it 7 777

By ImNotFat - 07/08/2013 06:04 - United States - Havertown

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 851

You deserved it 15 535

By Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard - 06/08/2013 21:55 - United States

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 362

You deserved it 4 862

By (._. ) - 06/08/2013 20:35 - United States - Alburnett

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 793

You deserved it 5 131

By this sucks - 05/08/2013 04:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, after gaining all the weight back that I had lost after my first marriage, I realized that the only thing that fits me now is my wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 135

You deserved it 9 831

FML on Facebook

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Today, I put on a new pair of jeans and went out. Halfway through my errands, I realized the long sticker with my size was still on the back. I walked around for quite a while advertising my embarrassing waist and leg measurements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 331

Today, in front of a bunch of people on my college campus, my mom grabbed my hand and lead me across the street. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 661

You deserved it 4 828

Today, my country told me that I don’t matter, and my right to my body and the care for that body is not my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 632

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 385

You deserved it 3 726

Today, I moved into my new flat only to notice it's right across from a frequently used railway line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 1 701

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 380

You deserved it 3 551